We've all had that first love. No, not the ones that you shared animal crackers with in first grade. But, the ones that gave us butterflies every time we saw them. That person we created so many memories with. All the events, pictures, mutual friends made. It's hard to let go of something that is so close to your heart. But I am going to give you two words of advice:
Give Up.
Trying to force feelings for someone that aren't there can not only hurt you in the end, but them as well. Believe me, I do know what it's like to be battling your heart and your mind at the same time. You keep thinking to your self, "I don't want to let go, because I really do love them." Ask yourself, Do you love them? Or do you love the memories and history you share together? Who knows, in the very lucky case it may be the first one. But if you are having doubts, from experience, it may be the latter. Which, trust me, I know sucks. It really does.
Let's have another scenario, say you are still madly in love with the other person, but they can't reciprocate. At that moment you need to realize that what you had was gone. It's going to be extremely hard, but you are going to push through it. Don't strain yourself and definitely do not try to force the other person to love you back because things will get nasty. And I mean, unpleasant.
Don't think of your time with them as time lost. They were in your life for a reason. As a matter of fact, they are called your "First Love" for a reason. They are that person that teaches you lessons in life, good and bad. They transform your personality and shape you to who you are today. This kind of love serves as the appetizer to your life-long meal of relationships. It starts you off and prepares you for the best entree of your life. Who knows? You may be hungry for desert or seconds in the end.
It's okay to cry and it's okay to vent. It's definitely okay to get rid of material things that remind you of that person. But, you will want to eliminate all ties to that person. Don't try to stay friends and don't torture yourself by asking mutual friends how the other one is doing.It's okay to establish good terms, but don't try to spark a friendship out of it. You can use this time of grief to become closer to friends and family. You can become busy by doing small DIY crafts, go hiking, bake, or get involved with a local club or organization. Don't eat your feelings and definitely do not take advantage of your body and drink the pain away.
First loves are wonderful, but hard in the end. As painful it may be, you'll realize that you are better without them. Embrace your independence and don't torture yourself. This too, shall pass.
