Knowing When To Let Go

As a relatively young person, I feel that I’ve had some experience regarding saying goodbye. It’s not easy. In fact, goodbyes are actually pretty horrible. Letting go of someone you love can bring your down for a long time, especially if you haven’t yet realized that leaving them behind is the best thing for you in that moment. The truth, however difficult it is to admit, is that if something with someone was meant to be, it wouldn’t be so hard to keep it around.

In the midst of one of the hardest goodbyes I’ve ever had to deal with during my short 20-year-old life, my father said something pretty amazing to me. He said, “We love hard and we fight hard. That’s just the kind of people we are.” I realized two things upon hearing this. First of all, my dad actually knows what he’s talking about. Second of all, just because I love something that hard, doesn’t mean it’s really right for me to keep fighting for it.

Loving someone is great. Whether it’s family, best friends or significant others. Love and mutual admiration are wonderful things to experience. The heartache that sometimes inevitably follows can make it feel like the love was never worth it. Sometimes it becomes too difficult to love another person, and you have to say goodbye. There’s nothing wrong with that, but my goodness does it feel wrong when it happens. You should never regret loving something. What you will come to regret is holding onto something for so long that you forget why you loved it in the first place.

Sometimes we get caught up in the gut-wrenchingly terrible idea of dealing with the grief that comes after losing someone we love. As a result of our fear of experiencing grief, we try different, sometimes drastic things to keep these people around. Most of the time, the methods we come up with end up compromising who we are as people. Don’t give yourself up to fit the mold of a relationship you’ve outgrown. The happiness of having that person in your life is not greater than the unhappiness you will feel after having lost yourself as a result of putting too much into keeping that same person around. Nothing is more important than knowing your own self-worth while in a relationship, so why should anyone let go of that when things begin to fall apart?

As cliche as this may sound, if someone doesn’t want you in their life or they aren’t willing to do what it takes to make you happy, then why would you want them at all? It may be hard to see past the times they made you happy before it became so difficult, but if this person you love so deeply is not also fighting for you, that is your best reason to leave them behind. You should never waste that kind of valuable love and energy on a person who wouldn’t do the same for you. Believe me, there are plenty of people out there who would be more than willing to accept what you can give them and give you better than what you’re getting right now.

In hindsight, goodbyes are merely doors opened to newer and greater hellos. A heartbreaking goodbye never comes without an opportunity to heal in the future. If you love something that much, it will come back to you. Don’t push it. You may ruin something great or lose part of yourself. What needs to be understood about goodbyes is the value they have in our lives. After a certain amount of time, you will be better for the relationship if you do your part and wait. Whether it’s with the same person or with someone completely new, you will end up thankful that you let go and gave yourself a chance to find the things that make you a better you, not the things that change you. After all, there's far too much out there in our world for you to be wasting your time on something that no longer makes you happy.