There are some things that can only be understood if your mom is a nurse.
This might be the case, if...
1. Anything goes at the dinner table.
She’s around death and poop and blood and God-knows-what-else all day, so it makes sense that she might be desensitized. Then, it rubs off on you, and next thing you know, you’re in college and have to remind yourself, “Maybe I actually shouldn’t talk about the nasty zit I popped this morning while sitting with my new friends at lunch.”
2. "Take some Ibuprofen" is something you hear on a daily basis.
Me: "Mom, my head..."
Mom: "Have you taken 400 mg of Ibuprofen? Don't even finish that sentence unless you have."
3. Shoe shopping = Dansko shopping
Imagine a middle school girl at the mall, nearly in tears of frustration, trying to convince her mom that nursing clogs are not cool. I don't care if they're name brand Danskos. No, not even the blue ones with the nice swirly pattern. No, not even if they have amazing arch support. Mom, seriously, I just want a pair of Chuck Taylors, and they're so much cheaper, anyway.
4. She casually tells the craziest stories you have ever heard.
I will never forget when my mom told the story about the nameless woman who came to see her because "her puss was leakin'."
5. She compliments your friends' veins.
Mom: "Wow, look at those veins! You'd be so easy to stick!"
Friend: "Uh... Maybe we should stay at my house tonight?"
6. You know exactly what to tell people to do for common problems, because you've heard your mom do it so many times.
Me: "Eat a banana; your potassium is probably low." "Push the fluids; you're not drinking enough." "You can piggyback the Tylenol and Advil if gets really bad." "Drink caffeine; it sounds like a migraine." "Chewing on ice cubes? You're probably anemic. You should eat more red meat for your iron deficiency."
Friend: "Aren't you like, an English major or something?"
7. She can tell you exactly what you have, but she's a bit paranoid, and will send you to the doctor anyway, "just in case."
She knows just how bad undetected problems can become. I was once taken to the E.R. for a bad stomach virus, "just in case" it was appendicitis.
8. Pretending to be sick only worked if she was running late to work and didn't have time to deal with your hookie-playing shenanigans.
She always knew if my brother and I were dramatizing a bad case of "we don't want to go to school and look Mom, we have seasonal allergies (*cough*)," but I think sometimes she let it slide. I mean, other kids got to occasionally pretend to be sick, so it was only fair that we did, too!
9. She's a true germaphobe, and has turned you into one, too.
I used to think it was crazy, but inevitably, I have become my mother, in this regard.
We never double dip, we always pour our chips out of the bag, we always sanitize the shopping cart, and God forbid we drink after anyone, even each other.
10. She's basically Superwoman, and you don't understand how she does it all.
I will never not be amazed by my mom! She went through nursing school as a single mom with two little kids, while working full time. She works with patients who are in their end-of-life stages, and her job is to make them as comfortable as possible. I believe that takes a very special kind of person. I am so lucky to be the daughter of a nurse!
