We get it all the time. Someone looking at us, and saying "You look tired." I'm gonna stop you right there. I probably know that I look tired. I probably have a reason for looking tired. I don't like it when people point it out to me. I immediately think I look like hammered dog shit if you tell me that I look tired. I've heard multiple variation of this, "You look sleepy," "Late night last night?" "Are you sick?" and my personal favorite, "What happened to you face?"
I have a theory about why people say this, well a couple of theories. I think that in most cases, when the person that is saying you look tired is a friend, or family member, they are trying to ask you what's wrong, but aren't going to fully come out and ask. It's a passive way for them to start a conversation. Maybe they've been worried for a while, but haven't known how to ask you what was bothering you. Some people have no filter, and just can't help to say what they see. Those people don't usually mean any harm, but maybe they are just being a dick, and commenting on how tired you look.
The program I'm in is half international students and I've found that their are cultural differences in the way that people handle commenting on your state of tiredness. The most entertaining, but probably the most shocking was the fellow student that told my friend "Emily, what happened to your face?" She was shocked, and hurt, and not used to being called out because she wasn't wearing makeup. She chalked it up to the cultural difference. She told him later that it hurt her feelings. But then, when he saw her later, maybe not looking her best, maybe not wearing any makeup, maybe not having slept well stressing out over school, he asked her, "Emily, are you sick?" It was clear that he was trying, but it wasn't getting much better.
Being told that you look tired, is like saying you look like shit. It can ruin your whole day. Especially if you were feeling yourself that morning, and then someone comes along and undercuts all that confidence.
So, please don't tell me that I look tired. I probably know that already. I probably tried to hide it with all the makeup in my medicine cabinet. I might even cry if I look tired and you say something about it, because I haven't been sleeping well because I'm upset. So, if you see someone looking tired, don't comment on it, instead add something valuable to their day, wish them well, give them a little bit of advice, and for goodness sake don't ask them what's wrong with their face.
