For a period of time when I was a kid, twins were all the craze. Hell, twins have been the subject of all different kinds of shows, movies, and even plays! But, what I have noticed is that it is mostly identical twins (the same sex) that are represented, not fraternal twins (opposite sexes). The most famous one I can think of is "Twelfth Night," and more recently "Gravity Falls" (which, if you haven't watched it, I highly recommend. It's awesome!) And I figured it was time to represent fraternal twins a little by explaining my experience with my brother.
My brother Daniel and I were c-section babies, which means our mom had an operation to remove us instead of being born naturally. We were a scheduled c-section, as twins normally are, although there are definitely natural births of twins. Daniel was pulled out first, and therefore, older than me…by two minutes. Which means technically I am the middle kid by two minutes (I have a younger sister).
Daniel and I grew up very close. We did things a little differently than other kids without twins. For example, my brother and I could sit quietly through an entire two-hour movie. We always had someone else’s to play with, so sometimes it was nice to just sit and watch TV or something. I was never alone on my birthday, we would play games together all the time and generally got along very well. Sure, we fought a little, like any other siblings, but it was never huge and I never hated him.
But we also didn’t do stereotypical “twin” things. We never tried to fool our parents that one was the other because we looked like a brother and a sister that happened to be twins (OK, we did it once, but it wasn’t to convince them it was each other, instead we did some gender bending and had different names and everything. My sister helped us.) And before you ask, no we cannot read each other’s thoughts. More like, I’ll just know how he is feeling. I know him so well that I can just tell from subtle unconscious movements what he is feeling and therefore probably thinking. Sure there was one time where it seemed like he knew my every thought, which came in handy for the game we were playing, but really I think it was just because we have a very strong connection and just know each other incredibly well.
Being so far away from my brother is hard. It’s really hard. I’ve only ever been separated from him for at most a week, and that week felt all wrong to me. Now, I’ve been away from him for months. When I first got to the states, I had to go six months without physically seeing my family. I then saw them at Christmas, and I got to see them for three weeks when they came to Philly for the summer. Of course, I miss my entire family, but there is something deeper with Daniel.
Daniel and I are twins. Boy-girl, fraternal twins. The good thing about having a twin brother instead of a twin sister is I didn’t have to deal with, for example, being compared in the sense of looks, intelligence, and talent. Sure, I was a little competitive with Daniel, but, I never felt compared to him really. Daniel and I are different enough that most people don’t even know we are twins. He takes more after my mom in sense of personality, while I take a lot after my dad.
Growing up with a twin brother was always fun, though. Being in the same grade and therefore sharing teachers, we could complain about the ones we didn’t like, we worked together in high school a lot. Not so much in middle school… we didn’t have many classes together and while I did the middle school shows, my brother did high school shows because there was a shortage of boys who did the shows in high school. Plus, middle school was a bad time for both of us, and we had actually drifted apart, mostly due to me developing severe depression and not knowing how to deal with it because I didn’t want to admit that I felt the way I did.
But high school, or at least the last two years, now those were great. We worked together in shows all the time, we had some classes together, we grew closer because I learned how to deal. We had both matured and we not only had a tight-knit group of friends but also my whole family got close and my brother, sister and I basically became the mentors of the theatre department. We are even closer now because we have both “come to faith” as the Christians say (yes, we are Christians).
The funny thing about having a twin who is a different sex to you is that you aren’t “twins” but you aren’t just siblings either. There is this strange feeling where you are both individual but also couldn’t imagine life without the other. So, when it gets to the time where you both have to go away to college…it’s hard. I’m not going to lie. Daniel and I have an entire ocean between us, and I miss him more and more every day. But being away from him this long has shown me just how much I love him.
I guess my point with this article is just to maybe explain how boy/girl twins work, and also maybe give people a better understanding of how twins work. My feeling is that fraternal twins are very underrepresented in media today, and I would love to see more. This is also just a quick post to say to those with a twin who are about to be separated from their twin, I hope that this gives you so kind of comfort that you will be okay. Even if you will miss them, it will be OK.
