Had a conversation with my girlfriend about guys - per the usual topic of conversation - when the subject about guy friends came up.
Specifically, guy friends that are attractive to us. As someone who values having guy friends in my life, I take this topic seriously because it's so easy to cross that invisible line without realizing you've crossed it.
Yes, I believe guys and girls can truly JUST be friends but it comes with some stipulations. You've got to set boundaries first and then establish what kind of relationship this really is.
If you already know you feel just friendship, then subtly hinting with something like "X you're such a great friend" can pretty much tell the guy everything he needs to know about your "relationship." There will be times that the hints aren't getting through to them, so you'll have to just come out and say that you value the friendship and want to keep it that way.
There's also the problem when you have a VERY attractive friend and by attractive I mean that person hits almost everything on your list of "dateable guys." There's just one small, teensy-tiny, problem...you can't or won't date them.
Why, you ask?
Because that could damage the wonderful relationship you have right now, or you recognize their attractive features but not necessarily attracted to them. Yes, being attracted to someone and thinking their attractive are two different things.
For instance, Chris Evans is an attractive man and from his online persona, we can assume to be a great guy, but I would never hypothetically date him. Seems like a sweet, funny, guy but personally I find him too much of a "nice" guy. I like my guys with a little something more than just "nice" but that's another story for another time.
From personal experience, I've had good-looking guy friends to hang out with but it wasn't until a few semesters ago that I became friends with one that fell under my "dateable" list. And to be even more candid with you, I didn't really notice him until months into our friendship and after time spent hanging out together, how awesome this person was.
Then came my, "Uh-oh" moment where I found myself inching towards that invisible line and I started to freak out. I came to the realization that I wasn't going to mess up this friendship and whatever little feelings existed, I would push them aside.
In the end you need to figure out what you want most out of this, a friend or a boyfriend?
