In our culture of broadcasting our accomplishments, failure has become a dirty word. Who wants to fail when everyone around them is constantly and consistently successful? At the end of the day, failure sucks but is inevitable. As corny as it sounds, the fear of failure is what will inhibit growth. BUT it will happen to you, and when it does, what do you do?
1. The Initial Shock
"But the interview went well" "I'm so qualified for this" "I've never not been cast in a show" "I made the team last year how did this happen?" "I've been dancing since I was born what do you mean I didn't make the talent show?" "I've been in this club for years how was I not picked for the exec board" "They said I was a shoe-in for the job, how did I not get it?"
2. Sadness
"How can I go on?" "I planned my entire summer around this internship" "I love they show they're doing" "If I can't go to that school, I don't want to go to college" "I fit in with the team so well" "I pictured myself being a part of that, and now I can't be" "That was the best place for me. There's no way I will be happy anywhere else"
3. Embarrassment
"I told everyone about the audition" "What do I say when people keep asking about it" "How do I tell my parents? They were so proud of me" "People were planning on coming to all of my games" "I bought a sweatshirt for that school, do I just throw it out now?" "What happens if I see the captain. Do I say hi? I feel so awkward"
4. Self-pity
"No one else fails as much as I do" "If I was just better at things I wouldn't have this problem" "I don't mind failing, but it happens to me so much" "This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me"
5. Self-deprecation
"I'm too stupid for this" "I was dumb to think I even had a shot" "It's because I'm unlikeable" "There is something that makes me prone to failure" "If it were anyone else, they would've gotten it" "It's always me who has to struggle with constant failure"
6. Seeing others success
"Oh great all of my friends got interviews" "I can't wait to sit in the audience to watch everyone else in my class with dance solos" "I am the only person who didn't get this" "I can't believe that everyone else just gets things and I have to work for them and still fail" "I wish things came as easy to me as they do for everyone else" "Some people just get everything they go for"
7. Comparisons
"I am definitely more qualified than her" "She can't even sing" "I outran her in every exercise during tryouts" "There is no way he is smarter than me" "She doesn't even care about the organization half as much as I do!"'
8. Giving up entirely
"I'm never doing that again"
9. Acceptance
"Maybe my interview wasn't as perfect as I thought it was" "It is ok to not make every show" "This probably wasn't the best time to add another sport to my schedule" "Not getting the internship gives me more time to do things I care about" "Most people don't get into the club on their first try anyway" "I still got into a ton of great schools. I'll be ok" "There's always next year"
10. Trying again
"Practice makes perfect, right?"
All in all, failure sucks but happens to all of us. So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and realize that it is a part of life. The ability to laugh at yourself a little and keep trying is what truly makes success rewarding. Getting it right on the first try doesn't let you appreciate the hard work that comes along with a few little bumps in the road. You got this!
