You Don't Need Him To Be Happy

You Don't Need Him To Be Happy

You don't like him, you like the idea of him
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You don’t like him, you like the idea of him.

Trust me, I know you scroll through the popular page on Instagram and see all these perfect couples. I know you want what you think they have. And that’s why you would give your everything to the first guy that notices you.

I think way too far ahead, like most girls. I don’t know why we do it but even just a simple “hey” makes us think about if we're going to go to your house or ours for Christmas.It drives me crazy and I've realized lately I need to stop worrying so much about the future and enjoy the present.

All my life, I’ve been single because I haven’t met someone worth it all. Until I met the guy who changed my whole perspective on the world.

He treated me so well I didn’t even know I could be treated that good. I realized that it wouldn’t work out between us for different reasons, and instead of staying in the relationship just because I’ve wanted someone my whole life and I had finally found someone who treated me well, I got out of it because I realized I deserve someone who wants to commit and someone who isn’t afraid to lose me.

I made myself believe that he could be the one. I made myself believe that he felt the same way. But he didn’t. I was just another girl to him, while to me he was my future.

I don’t date in this generation just to “date”. I date to marry, and I take it seriously. I want someone who is looking for the same, and he wasn't it. He couldn’t commit to me and that’s okay. And it's okay to leave the relationship because of that. Ladies, you deserve a guy who is 110% down for you, not someone who is unsure if he even sees a future with you.

I know it's easier to stay with him because he makes you happy, and you think that all those times make up for the fact that he won’t commit to you. And it may be easier, and less heartbreaking at the time. But it won't be worth it. You can't force a relationship, and you can't force someone to have the same feelings for you.

What you can do is wait until the right guy comes.

Don’t go looking for a relationship or forcing one, let the right person come to you. You'll find him, trust me. And when you do, fall in love with him... not the idea of him. The right him. The one who is crazy about you and the one who shows you off, and most importantly the one who really gets you and isn’t afraid of loving, and most importantly, losing you.

You don’t need him to be happy.

You don’t need him to feel satisfied.

And you definitely don’t need him because everyone else has a “him”.

I never dated in high school. Not because I didn’t like anyone, but because I chose not to. When I date I am honestly looking for my someone. I knew no one in high school was going to be that someone for me. Some people found their person in high school, and that’s amazing. But for me, it hasn’t happened yet and I’m on my second year in college. And that’s fine.

I thought going to college was going to be amazing and I would find my future husband and we would live happily ever after. I was totally wrong.

Our generation isn’t worried about dating, or even about the future. Don’t get me wrong; there are a few exceptions, like myself. I look around at all these couples and think, are they really happy together, or are they just together because everyone else has someone too? I don’t to let my happiness to depend on a boy. You should learn to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Having someone is just the icing on top, and loving yourself is what really matters.

And I'm not only speaking for girls, guys: you don’t her to be happy. I know all of your buddies have someone and it can be embarrassing or lonely if you don’t. But don’t settle for easy, find the girl that is worth fighting for. She will be worth it. You deserve the best, and nothing less.

Most importantly, be happy with yourself, learn to love yourself and know how to be single before you get in a relationship. Don’t depend on a guy to make you happy or fill the hole you might have from past relationships, do it yourself. You don’t need him, and he doesn’t deserve you until he shows he's afraid of losing you.

Cover Image Credit: Brooke Viger

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

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views

Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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Fun Winter Date Ideas

There is always something about when the weather gets cold your love life gets hot

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There is nothing better than spending time with someone you love. There is something about when the weather getting colder you cannot help but fall in love with spending time with someone special.

Cuddling by the fire is always an essential. Lets face it you are freezing from the outside why not get together make a pallet full of blankets and pillows, light the fire in the fire place, and get to cuddling while watching cute Christmas movies. It is a fun time to really get in some quality time with your significant other.

Driving around in the car looking at Christmas lights. So many people go completely all out on the lights outside of there house that why not enjoy all their hard work. I love Christmas lights as it is,but getting to spend time with someone you love just makes it that much better.

Ice Skating... Grab your skates and if you are anything like me you will need the wall to the skating rink without falling. You get to drink hot chocolate in between skating. It is always nice to get to have fun and do something you would not normally do any other time of the year.

Playing in the Snow, is such a fun time to get silly with your person, because you can truly let your inner child come out. You can have a snowball fight, make snow angles, or you can even build a snowball fort. Plus you and your date will be in so many layers that you will look like walking marshmallows which is always funny. With this one obviously it is not always ideal considering there is no guarantee it will actually snow, but if you get the chance I 100 percent recommend this one.

Decorating for Christmas... I love getting in the Christmas spirit by decorating my living space with all the Christmas vibes. You and your significant other can decorate the tree with all your ornaments. It is such a fun time and you are killing two birds with one stone. You get to get your space all decorated and pretty, but you also get a fun date out of it.

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