See that adorable dark toddler in that picture up above? That’s me. And no, I didn’t stumble into some nice family's picture. Those are my brothers and my dad and before you ask, yes - my brothers, and I have the same mom and dad. No, I am not adopted and, as you can obviously tell, I don’t look like my parents or my brothers. I spent a good portion of my childhood being asked if I was adopted or if I had a different mother or father. It started of as an annoyance in the beginning, but after awhile, it really began to confuse me.
My entire family is Hispanic and growing up, I felt very disconnected from my culture because I was told I didn’t “look” Hispanic. As you can also clearly see from that picture, my skin is very dark. However, I was told I wasn’t black due to that fact that I didn’t “talk” or “act” black, which was also stupid. I grew up literally feeling uncomfortable in my own skin. My friends in middle school always just told me “Oh you’re basically white, don’t worry about it.” Do you mind telling me what the f*ck that means? Just because I don’t look or act like the stereotypes that people have in their minds, doesn't mean I don’t get to be the ethnicity that I am. You don’t get to pick that. This may seem petty and weird to some of you reading this, but this is a problem that I literally deal with to this day. Believe it or not, me being black does not make me African American. Hispanics don’t have a certain “look” to them for Christ's sake there’s an entire continent full of hispanics. I’m sorry we all don’t look like one giant mariachi band. No, I am not “basically white” because I don’t talk like jive-talking disco dancers or some Spanish telenovela narrator... What the hell does that even mean, “basically white?” No, I don’t want to be “basically white.” I like who I am and I’m proud of it. Can we please just accept the fact that we all don’t look and sound a certain way?
That’s what makes living on planet full of different people interesting. Growing up and being told I’m not Hispanic and I’m not black because I didn’t look or sound like someone was honestly just confusing and made me feel out of touch with not only my culture, but with myself. I didn’t feel like I belonged anywhere because I was told I didn’t belong anywhere. Do you have any idea what that can do to a kid? I had to grow up being asked and told I don’t look like I belong with my family. That there needed to be some reason for me to be a part of the picture. Thankfully, I had great parents who always encouraged and reminded me that I was not only theirs, but that I was a black Hispanic and I should be proud. For that I want to say thanks to them, because even when the world said I didn’t belong in the picture, I knew I did.
