You Don't Have To Have A New Year's Resolution This Year

You Don't Have To Have A New Year's Resolution This Year

New year, same me.
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2017 is coming to a close and 2018 is just around the corner. The new year is a time to reflect and think of what you could make better in the new year. But why do we have to set a goal for ourselves at the beginning of the year when we could do anytime during the year?

As a college student, I have set goals along the lines of not procrastinating on assignments or staying in shape during the school year. So when it's time to ring in the new year, I am on break. That means there are no assignments for me to procrastinate on and what makes you think I am going to get a gym membership for a month when I could be eating the rest of the Christmas cookies before I go back to school?!

It's awful that the New Year is right in the thick of the holiday season. When sweets are still floating around and big, family meals are served constantly. For anyone to say, "I am giving all of that up because of my New Year's resolution" is crazy! For those people who can do it, props to you! You have a lot more self-control than me. But is it really so bad if I don't have one right at the beginning of the year?

If you know that you want to improve on something in the middle of the year, why not start then? I know that some people need that day to say that it is time to change. And realizing that you need to change a part of yourself is a huge step in knowing yourself and your potential! But if you see it happening well into the New Year, it's okay to make a resolution to fix it then.

For me, all of my much-needed-improvements happen during the school year. It may be too much procrastination or not taking time for myself. Either way, I want to make myself better. Instead of waiting for the new year, I start during the school year. I think whenever it is appropriate to make something better, you actively work on it.

I don't think people should be pressured to make a New Years resolution when they are just enjoying themselves. If you are happy with the way you are right now, there is no reason for you to change. You are you and you know yourself the best. If you are proud of who you are (and you should be), there is no reason to change.

I think the saying "new year, new me" sets any human being up for failure. Because we are human, we slip up. Don't feel horrible if you want to improve on the same thing you wanted to improve on last year. If you didn't reach your goal, that's okay. Consider it a long-term goal that is taking a little longer than expected. It doesn't matter how long the journey, it's the destination that makes it all worthwhile.

Cover Image Credit: Jerry Kiesewetter

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To The Person Who Feels Suicidal But Doesn't Want To Die

Suicidal thoughts are not black and white.
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Everyone assumes that if you have suicidal thoughts that means you want to die.

Suicidal thoughts are thought of in such black and white terms. Either you have suicidal thoughts and you want to die, or you don't have suicidal thoughts and you want to live. What most people don't understand is there are some stuck in the gray area of those two statements, I for one am one of them.

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was a kid.

My first recollection of it was when I came home after school one day and got in trouble; and while I was just sitting in the dining room I kept thinking, “I wonder what it would be like to take a knife from the kitchen and just shove it into my stomach." I didn't want to die, or even hurt myself for that matter. But those thoughts haven't stopped since.

I've thought about going into the bathroom and taking every single pill I could find and just drifting to sleep and never waking back up, I've thought about hurting myself to take the pain away, just a few days ago on my way to work I thought about driving my car straight into a tree. But I didn't. Why? Because even though that urge was so strong, I didn't want to die. I still don't, I don't want my life to end.

I don't think I've ever told anyone about these feelings. I don't want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you're absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don't want to die.

It's a confusing feeling, it's a scary feeling.

When the depression takes over you feel like you aren't in control. It's like you're drowning.

Every bad memory, every single thing that hurt you, every bad thing you've ever done comes back and grabs you by the ankle and drags you back under the water just as you're about the reach the surface. It's suffocating and not being able to do anything about it.

The hardest part is you never know when these thoughts are going to come. Some days you're just so happy and can't believe how good your life is, and the very next day you could be alone in a dark room unable to see because of the tears welling up in your eyes and thinking you'd be better off dead. You feel alone, you feel like a burden to everyone around you, you feel like the world would be better off without you. I wish it was something I could just turn off but I can't, no matter how hard I try.

These feelings come in waves.

It feels like you're swimming and the sun is shining and you're having a great time, until a wave comes and sucks you under into the darkness of the water. No matter how hard you try to reach the surface again a new wave comes and hits you back under again, and again, and again.

And then it just stops.

But you never know when the next wave is going to come. You never know when you're going to be sucked back under.

I always wondered if I was the only one like this.

It didn't make any sense to me, how did I think about suicide so often but not want to die? But I was thinking about it in black and white, I thought I wasn't allowed to have those feelings since I wasn't going to act on them. But then I read articles much like this one and I realized I'm not the only one. Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, and my feelings are valid.

To everyone who feels this way, you aren't alone.

I thought I was for the longest time, I thought I was the only one who felt this way and I didn't understand how I could feel this way. But please, I implore you to talk to someone, anyone, about the way you're feeling; whether it be a family member, significant other, a friend, a therapist.

My biggest mistake all these years was never telling anyone how I feel in fear that they would either brush me off because “who could be suicidal but not want to die," or panic and try to commit me to a hospital or something. Writing this article has been the greatest feeling of relief I've felt in a long time, talking about it helps. I know it's scary to tell people how you're feeling, but you're not alone and you don't have to go through this alone.

Suicidal thoughts aren't black and white, your feelings are valid, and there are people here for you, you are not alone.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionhotline.org to live chat with someone. Help it out there and you are not alone.


Cover Image Credit: BengaliClicker

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You Deserve Happiness

And it's seriously that simple.

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If you're wondering if you deserve happiness or why everything just doesn't feel right in your life right now, just know that it's going to be ok and that everything happens for a reason. While there's going to be good days and there's going to be bad days, one thing is certain: you deserve happiness.

Trust me; I know it's not easy.

People are going to be rude and some are going to try and create drama when they have the opportunity. However, while you're reading this, you should know that it happens to everyone and you are not alone when it comes to having these feelings or perspective.

2019 (or whatever year you are reading this in) is your year and nothing should change that. Whether it started out rough or incredible, there is still time to turn it around and make it what you want it to be.

Life is like a car and you're the driver. If you don't like where you're headed, turn around or make a quick right. It's ok to remove toxic and negative people from your life and distance yourself from things you realized are not worth your time or energy anymore.

Bad days are still, unfortunately, going to happen here and there. However, learning how to handle them and make them less of an emotional tragedy (depending on the severity of what happened of course) will make you a stronger person.


So if you're reading this because you needed it or simply because you saw it somewhere across social media, remember that you deserve everything you want out of life and more. Take a deep breath today and focus your energy on the positive aspects of life.

Life is what you make it and it's the way you react to certain things that happen that ultimately shapes you into who you are. Keep doing your thing, whatever that may be, and things are going to work out.

This is your year!

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