When we were younger we were taught that if we don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Our parents and caretakers all drilled this lesson into our heads to avoid kindergarten and elementary school fights and to ultimately try to make us nice kids. As we get older it becomes harder to keep in the things we want to say that might not be too nice. While I understand the importance of this lesson, I disagree with it. I believe that there is a time and a place to say something that isn't nice.
If you're in a situation where being rude, sassy, mean or whatever you want to call it can be avoided, I would recommend avoiding it. What I'm about to say in no way, shape or form is me condoning going out of your way to consistently be rude to others. What I'm about to say is condoning saying something that may be rude in order to stick up for yourself or genuinely help someone else.
There are times in life where you come to a crossroads with certain people. At a point you have to decide if you are going to be a nice friend or a realistic/reality friend. The nice friend is the one who will tell you that you look great when in reality they should be telling you that something may need to change. Or a nice friend could also encourage you to do something that may not actually be in your best interest simply because they don't want to hurt your feelings. A reality friend on the other hand wouldn't be afraid to suggest that you need to change your outfit or they will be brutally honest with you about your well being and the choices you make. Sometimes the truth hurts, but if someone is being brutally honest with you they're probably doing it for your own good.
I'm the reality friend. I will tell you that from the beginning. I refuse to sugar coat things for you just to make you feel better about yourself. If I'm your friend I want the absolute best for you. I want you to grow and thrive and succeed at anything you want to. So when I tell you the honest truth when you ask for my opinion, please don't take offense, I'm just trying to help you. So even though I was taught to not say anything if I don't have anything nice to say, I can't live like that 100 percent of the time.
I'm going to ignore the rule that we were all taught when we were younger if that means telling other people the truth. While I will always try to tell the truth in a nice way, sometimes there is no way to say something nicely. All we can do is try our best to say things nicely and understand that sometimes the truth will hurt, but the lesson we learned as kids doesn't always apply. So the rule that I live by is speak the truth and try to be kind when doing so.
