“Love is putting another before yourself”
Five years ago I would have agreed with this statement wholeheartedly. You take care of those you love before you take care of yourself. That’s just how it is…or was. The 16 year old me didn’t know what I know now.
Recently I've started thinking in terms of what I want, instead of what I assume would be best for others. The more I did this, the happier I became. Now I’m working on putting myself first in as many situations as possible. I've got three years of college experience to thank for that. They say you only have yourself at the end of the day, but now that might not be so horrible. Here's my advice on how to do you in college.
- Self-interested does not equal selfish. You don’t owe anything to anyone; this is something we all need to be reminded of. It also becomes especially true when we’re talking about our happiness. You'd rather stay in and watch trash TV than go to that frat party with your friends? Then sit your butt on that couch and pig out! It's true what they say: college is not all about partying.
- Spend some time alone. To put yourself first you should know yourself. There’s no better way to know yourself than to spend some time on your own. I’ve spent most of my summer on my own and it’s been more than worth it. I’ve started figuring out who I am and what I truly want to do in life. So take some time for yourself. Go to the mall. Go get your hair and nails done. Do whatever it is that relaxes you and makes you happy. You gotta live with yourself for the rest of your life, so you might as well pamper yourself.
- Don’t do it because you think you should. Don’t do something if you don’t want to. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve given in to make a friend happy. You should never have to be miserable in order to please someone else. Don’t settle, friends. Just don’t. Anyone who values their relationship with you will understand. Don't pick a major just because it's the one your parents want you to. They might be paying your tuition, but they aren't living your life. They won't have to deal with the consequences of that decision once you graduate.
16 year old Brianna was a people-pleaser. She didn’t know how to put herself before anyone and, frankly, she didn’t want to. 21 year old Brianna knows better. I guess college does that to you sometimes. To paraphrase Drake: let me do me, you just do you.
