To The First Guy Who Broke My Heart: You Didn't Win
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To The First Guy Who Broke My Heart: You Didn't Win

You tried to take me hostage in my own mind, but I was stronger.

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To The First Guy Who Broke My Heart: You Didn't Win
Huffington Post

The first guy to ever break my heart wasn’t someone I was in love with. He was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, who played with my mind.

This guy was great at it.

He made it so I would let him in. There was no fighting it, nor was there any warning to what would happen afterwords. I didn’t realize letting him get close meant that my peace of mind disappeared.

He was able to trick me into thinking I felt certain emotions towards him. He played my mind on strings, better than any puppet master could.

I was a young, naive girl who believed his words. His words seemed to be the perfect fit in my upside down life.

And, even with a dark past like his, I thought “maybe I can change him. Maybe I can be the one.” I went from being my own person to repeating the words that flowed from his lips.

When he said the sky was green, I would agree because I knew what he would do if I didn’t. He was a drug that no matter how much my heart refused to love him, my mind said otherwise.

My young mind thought he could be the one.

He knew it too.

He was aware that I had this internal battle with myself. My eyes were an open book, which he used to his advantage to slowly take me down, inch by inch.

He had succeeded.

I was an inch tall in my eyes. I barely recognized myself as I stared in the mirror. The girl who looked back didn’t seem to be me.

She seemed frail, lifeless, almost invisible.

That’s when I knew enough was enough. I distanced myself and blocked him from everything. It was hard, nearly impossible to do, but I did it. I found the strength in myself to overcome the hold he had on me. He was mentally abusive, something I didn’t know existed at that time.

He broke my heart.

Though, I did not love him.

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