If there’s one thing I’ve learned within the past year, it’s that it’s completely okay to put yourself first. You don’t need to be the person to save everyone else from their problems, you need to save yourself first. Putting yourself on the back burner to help everyone else may feel great for some time, but eventually it will burn you out.

I’m the person that has no problem giving up sleep for friend’s that call me in the middle of the night that need me, or blowing off things I want to do to help someone that needs help, but lately I’m feeling the effects of it all. I’m constantly tired trying to make it through the day and people have become upset that I’m not always around. Unfortunately, they are taking it personally when really I’m just trying to regenerate. It’s nothing against my friends, I love being the person they can depend on to be there and help them through things, but sometimes I need to sleep, I need to work through my own problems, because the more I put my stuff aside for other people the worse I feel internally.

I see this happen to people pretty often, they go from being the ‘good’ guy helping everyone else but when they begin to focus on themselves and help themselves they become the ‘bad’ guy to the same people they had put themselves aside for. This isn’t right nor is it fair, I credit people that take care of themselves and put themselves first because it is something I am just now learning to do.

In all reality, how can we help someone else if we aren’t good at taking care of ourselves? And for the people that make us feel bad for taking care of ourselves- how can we be a good friend to you if we aren’t good to ourselves?

For the girls like myself that feel they aren’t a good enough friend or get put down for ‘not doing enough’ when they’ve lived their lives doing more than enough and more than anyone would ever do for them- it is OKAY to put yourself first. YOU are your first priority. If anyone makes you feel bad for caring for yourself they are not your real friends, they do not actually care about you. Real friends understand you need to make sure you’re good before you can help them.

So you know what, have a day to yourself to do what you need/want to for yourself.

• You want to dress up for no reason- do it no matter anyone else’s opinions
• You want to get your nails done to make you feel better for a day- do it.
• You want to stay in and catch up on sleep, do it and do NOT feel bad about it
• You want to cry and feel for yourself instead of being everyone else’s shoulder for a change? Cry as much as you need too to feel free from the burdens you’ve carried.
• You want to go for a walk in your peaceful place on your own, don’t let someone’s dependence on you keep you from doing that alone.
• You want to spend a day being lazy never changing out of your pajamas or moving from bed- do it you deserve it.

We all work hard enough to deserve a day to do nothing and regenerate. We all deserve to put ourselves first and not be made to feel badly about it. It is not selfish to love yourself and take some time to yourself instead of giving everyone else your time. Sure, there may not be enough hours in the day, but it’s okay to spend those hours doing nothing but relaxing and clearing your mind instead of burdening yourself with everyone else’s problems when you have yet to confront your own.

And quite honestly, we all need to stop doing for other’s what they won’t do for us, and start doing for ourselves what we would do for others.