After you experience hurt from the person you trusted with your life, nothing is ever the same. You suffer through pain that makes it nearly impossible to get out of the dark hole it may put you in. Everything then changes for you. The way you are as a person and the outlook you have on things around you. The question is, will you let this change you for the better or for the worse?

I was talking to this girl for over 2 months. After our second date she already asked me out and within that next week told me those three magical words, "I love you." I stopped her before she could finish asking me out though because I knew where she was going with it. I explained myself to her as to why I said no and it was because I wanted to get to know her more before becoming official. She understood where I was coming from and promised to stick around until I was ready.

I was trying to put the pieces together as to why I couldn't let all of my walls down for her. She has shown me everything I've wanted. What was still holding me back though? That's when I took some more time to myself to figure that out. I noticed small little habits that stuck with me after my previous relationship. I was doing them now in this potential new relationship and that was my biggest problem. I kept thinking I was back in my old situation and that she was going to be just like my ex.

I felt horrible when I would catch myself comparing her to what I was used to. I would think that the little arguments we had would turn into these blown up moments that always ended with me crying, but they didn't. She quickly picked up how my past was just by the way I acted. I was reminded that she wasn't my enemy and that she was on my side.

Breaking out from what you're used to can take some time. But if you want something bad enough then you will make it happen. You can't put the next person through the turmoil that was created in your past. They deserve a fresh start with you and an open chance to prove their love for you. This will be the toughest thing to over come after a breakup. But the minute you are able to, then that's when you've made the biggest step of them all. You are allowing yourself to give your patched up heart another chance at happiness. You deserve that.

You have to believe that not every one is going to be like your past. That not every situation is going to be the same as what you're used to. Thinking that every love story has the same story line isn't going to get you your fairytale ending you are wanting. You may have to strike out a few times before getting there but many lessons will be learned along the way. In the end, you determine your happiness.

Me for instance, I learned that I still have a lot to work on about myself. I am still a work in progress but it's clear to me now of all the lessons I'm being taught. I forgot there for a minute how much effort it takes into building a relationship. I can't just run whenever things don't go my way. But I also know now that I am not ready for a big commitement like that. I am choosing to allow myself more time for self growth before stepping into something like that. And you should too if your situation is similar to mine.

When a new relationship arrives for you, don't be afraid. Embrace it with open arms or at least try to. I know it will be natural for some to be hesitant after experiencing hurt but in time things will get better. You can't let the hurt that you've experienced in the past ruin things for you in the future. Try and turn it into something amazing whether it's simply a big lesson learned or like me, make a blog and share your story for others.

You will never know the soul that awaits you. Who could turn your life into the fairytale you've dreamed of if you don't let your walls down and get rid of those old habits.Like they say, "old habits die hard," but they never said that it's impossible." - unknown