Life is hard to understand. It's torturous and confusing and unfair. It doesn't make sense that you could see someone one day and just days later, find out that you will never see them again. How is it that we live in a world where people can disappear out of our lives so fast without even a goodbye? The hardest goodbyes are the ones we never get to say and ones that we can't explain or understand. But the truth of the matter is, as hard as any of us try, you can't save people from themselves.
Some of us, including me, are born maladjusted to the world and maladjusted to what the rest of the population experiences. It is as if some people are born with the instruction manual on life, and some, simply are not. There comes a point when you have to make a choice; to keep doing what you've been doing or to make changes that could ultimately change the course of your life. But the key is a willingness that lies within all of us. While it is in there, sometimes buried deep down, it is on us to let it shine through.
So many of my dear friends have shown this craving and desire to understand life and to have the willingness to follow through on what their potential is. But no matter how many times they want it, sometimes it just isn't enough. And when they leave us here on earth, it certainly leaves a sting where they used to be, but for me, I can only hope that their souls are finally resting at peace.
A couple of months ago, I heard a man tell a story about how he had a son who struggled with addiction for many years and he would live in constant fear for his son's wellbeing. So he prayed; he prayed that God would protect his son and relieve him of the pain and torment of his disease. And one day, his son passed away. He was overcome with sadness, but he came to know that this was God's way of answering his prayers. This was the way his higher power chose to answer his requests for protection of his son. It wasn't what he wanted, but he came to know that sometimes when you ask you have to be ready for any answer. His son's battle after all, was finally at an end.
What I'm trying to say is this; in the end, all we have is this very moment and nothing else. We don't know what tomorrow brings or if it will ever come. Goodbye hurts worse than most things, but the goodbyes that go unsaid are by far the worst. You can only love people while you have the pleasure of having them.
