As I have progressively changed in more ways than one throughout my life, it is only to be expected that my friends would do the same. We all make promises to each other and ourselves that we will be friends forever, but in reality, most of us live in the moment. It is the harsh reality that as people grow old they grow apart. But, why is it someone can change so much that everything about them becomes foreign?

To a Friend I lost to life,

If I could go back in time and try to figure out where things went wrong, to try to determine if there was something I could have done better, I would. Was it that I that I outgrew you? Or did you just stop caring about me? Now I am a firm believer that relationships are a two way street, but why is that I insist on putting the effort in when there was obviously no relationship to begin with? I mean, we sit there killing ourselves, over analyzing ever detail.

There is a great pain that comes with having to have written you out of my life. Our conversations of being neighbors and hopping our pretend children marry each other in the future have ceased to exist. You ventured into my life as this bubbly girl so full of life and as I have watched you grow into "yourself" your spirit has changed. I don't think it has changed as much as just shown its true colors. You see, I know for a fact that even though I have maybe change based on the knowledge gained from personal situations that have surfaced, I know that you change your personality based on your audience. You waltz around speaking of your spirit that travels with the wind. The reality is that you are as rigid and troubled as a crack addict on a street corner begging for money. I tried repeatedly to see through your cloud of mysterious ways only to find blackness and as my mistrust of your words grew I realized that our friendship would never be an option again. You see, I believe in you. I believed that the stories I heard about you were just stories and I had your back when you left my open for wounds.

I, in no way, say that I am perfect but I kept my promise to you; that I would be a friend to you through thick and thin. Enough is enough because you aren't who I thought you were. I hope some day you will come to terms with your true self. When that happens, I hope that you will finally be happy with the girl you see in the mirror and see that you are beautiful, smart and funny. I wish you nothing but the best.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Believed In You