I have always believed in love and fairytales. I’m a sucker for every Nicholas Sparks movie I see and will stay on Instagram for hours stalking my favorite celebrity couples. What can I say? I love love. From the time that I was a little girl I’ve imagined meeting the perfect man to sweep me off my feet, waiting for the right one to come along and live happily ever after with. That’s still the way I imagine it today. Realistic or not, I would love to find my prince charming. Sadly, being a young adult in this world, the chances of having the man of your dreams show up at your door with roses are slim to none. Matter of fact, the chances of even finding someone who wants a relationship are slim to none.
We live in a day and age where relationships are less and less common. We have created a culture of purely hooking up. Most people would rather wake up without a trace of who they slept with the night before rather than a smile and warm goodmorning. Somehow we’ve become convinced that “no feelings attached” is the best way to protect our feelings. But I’m here to tell you that that is the last way to keep from getting hurt.
When you ‘hook up’ with someone, most times there will be one sided expectations. Someone will care more than the other person and be left hurt and let down. On the other hand, you might go into it with no feelings at all. It’s just for fun, right? But I’m a strong believer that certain things should only be between two people who care for eachother. When you hook up with someone and create a bond with them, even if it is purely just physical, you’re interacting with them in such an intimate way. Even if you had started with no feelings, experiencing that closeness with them can lead to feelings developing and ultimately hurting you more in the long run.
Then there’s the situation which I find to be even worse: feeling used. Feeling as though that’s all they wanted you for and then being left to deal with the after math. People are so hard to read, especially if they want to be. Imagine how it feels to be so into someone, to really believe that they like you back and then never hear from them again once you have sex. Imagine what that does to someone’s self esteem; Their feeling of self worth. Not only is it hurtful but it makes them questions themselves and the way other people value them. They deserve better than that. You deserve better than that. Every person deserves better than that.
So before you let a few nice words fool you, remember this: you are more than a one night stand. You are more than a booty call or a late night “chill”. You are so much more than a cheap thrill or a story a guy tells to all of his friends. Don’t ever believe otherwise.
