Everyone is their own individual person. Nobody is allowed to tell you who you are. That decision is up to you. One thing I’ve learned over the eighteen years of my life - really the past four years - is that you can’t let other people shape who you are. Stop trying to define yourself based on what other people think. People may be judgmental and people may encourage you to be someone else. But you know what? F*ck them if that’s the case. You don’t need that toxicity in your life.
Here are five examples in which you shouldn’t give a damn what people are saying.
If you don’t want to go to college yet, then don’t!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with gap years. I wish I had had enough sense to take a gap year. They allow you to grow a little more before you get to college, save a little more money, and actually figure out what you want to do with your life. My friend took a gap year to go to Israel. My other friend is planning on taking a gap year to go work on a farm in South America.
If you think culinary school is the path you should take, then dammit go to culinary school!
Culinary school is amazing. My parents have both brought up to idea to me, and I’ve seriously given it some consideration. Learning how to cook and bake and all that food-y jazz sounds so amazing. Cooking is an art, and contrary to what some people may believe, you are not throwing your life away when you go to culinary school.
If you want to go to college to study art or film or writing, that’s up to you.
The arts are amaaaaaazing!!! Cut the bullsh*t about how much money each profession makes. Maybe - just maybe!!! - people aren’t interested in the arts for the money. One of the people I value most in life is my father, a self-published writer. In 2007, he quit his day job to do what he loves most. And look where he is now. He has his own book published. And it’s on amazon. What a success. How can anyone possibly judge someone for following their dreams? That makes no sense. Go become an artist, a videographer, a director, a photographer, a writer… Your heart is leading you down that path for a reason. Passion.
If you want to drop everything and travel across the country in a van…
Well damn, if you want to do that and people are judging you for doing so then I have no idea what’s wrong with them. That’s f*cking awesome. Who wouldn’t think that’s a good idea? I wish I could do that right now. I would go all over the place. Anyone who judges someone for travel really needs to figure out how to become at peace with the fact that they didn’t do it themselves.
If you’re surrounded by people who don’t appreciate you for who you are, then they really don’t deserve your time.
I know what it’s like to be surrounded by toxic people. Anyone who went to high school knows what it’s like. You are in charge of your own life. The kids you knew in high school - hell, even the teachers you knew in high school - don’t matter one bit once it’s time for you to decide what you want to do after you graduate. Nobody has any control over that choice except you.
I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past month. Why am I in college? What do I really want to do with my life? What kind of people do I want to be around? Who even am I? Well, I can tell you I still have no damn clue really. But that’s what growing up is for. And it gets even easier when you realize that these are the kind of questions you have to answer to figure everything out and to be the happiest person you can be. This moment - the moment you are reading this article - is the chance to decide to stop giving a damn about what others think and start living your life the way you think you should live it. Love who you are.
I will leave you with one of my all time favorite quotations. I hope you take at least one thing away from everything I’ve said.
”This is where it all begins. Everything starts here, today" David Nicholls
