I'm going to be honest, it's very easy to let your mental illness control you.
It's easy to let your depression convince you that nothing is going to get better, that life is hopeless. It's easy to let your anxiety tell you that no one loves you and that everyone around you is looking at you with judging eyes. It's easy to let your eating disorder convince you that you're too "fat" or too "skinny," and that your body will never be good enough until you do this or that to look a certain way.
I know I only covered a very small portion of the variety of mental illnesses out there. I personally know what it's like to struggle with what I have listed, so out of respect I avoided speaking on a level where I don't have the experience. Regardless, mental illness can feel like it's controlling your life, instead of it just being a part of life that you have to deal with.
There is a huge difference between knowing the pain and struggle of a mental illness, but it's another to let it consume you. It's another to let it become your identity, to let it tell you how to think about yourself and others. To let it convince you of lies about what is to come and what isn't. But I want to tell you something.
You are much more than what is going on in your head, or what you are convinced is going on around you. You inhabit a body that is so full of vast talent and abilities that you are letting your mental illness convince you are not there. Your brain may feel like a burden, but you are capable of amazing things. Just take into account what your body does for you everyday. It wakes you up, it tells you when you're hungry and when you're full. Your brain takes words off of a page and turns them into sentences, into thoughts, into images. Point being, life is really a miracle.
And so much more than a mental disorder, life is experience. Life is embracing yourself fully- mental illness and all. It's about recognizing what you're good at, really recognizing it. Being thankful for the gifts you have been bestowed. Life is learning how to cope with a mental disorder sometimes. And that's OK. The truth is, some mental disorders don't go away and you'll have good and bad days. But I beg you to not let it become your identity.
You're going to have your days when you're really high, when you feel like you can do anything. When your mental illness seems simply non-existent. When you can make your way through conversations without it poking at the back of your mind. There will be days when you can enjoy all the wonderful things life offers to us everyday. There will be days that you feel fully alive; days you feel like you belong.
But there will also be dark days. There will be days where nothing seems right- days where everything feels like a huge burden. Days where you feel like everything you once enjoyed, doesn't bring you any peace or excitement. Days where your family and friends can't seem to cheer you up or bring you happiness because your mental illness swallows you whole; days where your mental illness drowns you.
But don't let it define you. Because you're stronger than that. Because your name isn't depression, or anxiety. You have a purpose, because we all have purpose. You are capable of loving, and being loved. No matter how damaged or unlovable you think you are.
And yeah, it's going to be hard as hell some days, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. There always is. Life is never over until you say it's over.
You are not your mental illness. You are a fighter. You are a lover, a friend, a family member, a dancer or musician, an artist, a student. A brother and a sister, a daughter or son. But you aren't your mental illness.
Whatever, and whoever you may be, you are loved deeply. If not by those close to you, but by the One who created your very being. That is reason enough to keep fighting. Because even though you may feel worthless sometimes, God will always hold your purpose in the palm of His hands.
