A lot of us have been at a place where we just want to tell the world what they’ve done to us, how they have made us feel, how their actions contradicted their words. But there is a point when you have to realize that you are not responsible for him.

When I fell hard for a certain boy, there was no turning back. I was madly in love — did not care what anyone around me had to say about it. When our relationship turned less than emotionally healthy for me, I was not willing to let go because I had convinced myself that the person I was with was someone he was not. I am not the first to fall in love with someone’s potential instead of their actions.

As wrapped up in him as I was, when his desire to continue the relationship ended after eighteen months, I was able to gracefully walk away. I walked clear the other direction for half year before he decided that he had made a mistake and was going to do whatever it took to get me back. I allowed the sweet words he spoke to me daily to influence my thoughts and persuade me into looking into restarting a relationship, forgetting he was the one that had crushed me the summer prior. Even though he had been presenting to me this “undeniable, overwhelming, unstoppable” need to be with me, I soon found myself listening to him voice that same desire to end whatever type of relationship purgatory we were in.

It was when I was healing from this second (third if we’re being honest) heart-breaking blow from him that I learned one of the most valuable lessons: when people hurt you, it is not your responsibility to punish or help.

Even after all this time, all these hurts, I still know in my heart that I want the best for him. I want to write to his parents. I want them to know how he struggles, how he makes choices. I want them to know the things I know since I can no longer be there. I want them to know how to help him, since I can't.

I’ve processed it for months and I know this isn’t coming from a place of revenge or drama … so what’s wrong with it?

I am taking responsibility for someone who is not emotionally beneficial to me in the slightest. I would be allowing myself to continue to indirectly invest in him. Although I no longer contact him, have I really let go?

I mean well, I want to do good, but by continuing to feel any responsibility towards him, I am hurting myself. Don’t fall into the responsibility trap. Move forward, walk in a distinctly different direction. Let yourself heal.