Depression and anxiety are illnesses that many believe can be shaken off. To put it as firmly as possible: they are not, they are illnesses like any other requiring professional medical help. The symptoms are different for everyone. Depression isn't crying a lot, though for some it may be. Anxiety isn't self-isolating a lot, though for some it may be. It varies and stressful life experiences can make depression or anxiety more difficult. Even wonderful things like a date or the first day at a new school. Anxiety can make one's thoughts go 100 mph, cause a person to think others don't care about them or doom is just a clock tick away. Even when everything is fine at the moment.
I suffer from depression and anxiety, and have for years. It requires counseling and medication. It is also not so cut and dry. I've had to change combinations of medications a couple of times. This can be a frustrating process. Common side effects are headaches, dizziness, nausea, lack of appetite, etc. Last month, I switched to another medication, and it's been really helpful. I did laundry, had breakfast and brushed my hair. These things may seem so simple and be so easy for many but with depression and anxiety, it is difficult for anyone who suffers. Despite all the trial and error, finding the right combination was worth it. Before I received my diagnosis, I was convinced I was coming down with the flu, because I felt so lethargic and weak and had a minuscule appetite. I also felt congested. It wasn't a cold or the flu but my depression was worse than when the semester had started.
It was certainly terrifying to realize. I had heard depression can cause physical symptoms like pain but I had never experienced it. Much of my life, I also experienced the stigma of having a mental illness, and experiencing physical symptoms that severe relieved some of the sting of stigma. It was an illness and one that was helped with a change in medication. It was real. As ridiculous as it may sound, there has been many times I thought I could shake it off. I thought I could will myself to be happy if I just thought positive and got a hobby. Hobbies and positive thoughts help, but not always when you're alone, and a support network of loving friends, family, a psychiatrist and medication are essential. I also didn't feel as powerless as I had before when I realized it was my depression. I can't help having a mental illness but I certainly can be mindful when I think I'm experiencing worsening symptoms and work with my doctor so I can manage it.
May is Mental Health Awareness month, and it is my mission to make more people aware what it can be like by sharing my experiences. It is a long road for me personally but the small change I made almost a month ago was a major step. The most adult decision one can make if they believe they need help is to seek it out. Also, there is no such thing as asking for too much help. Getting counseling at school and outside of school is a great idea, as well as jotting down thoughts in a journal, exercising, talking to friends and taking time to just reflect. I also use an app called Start that allows me to keep track of my medication, do weekly check-in's that ask various questions about any side effects I may be experiencing, as well as the state of my relationships, work and my sleeping habits. It also gives me reminders to take my medication. It is available in the App Store and quite possibly in the Android app store. One of the best parts of it is it's free. I also like to use the white noise app that also has a free version and it's just as good as the paid version. It also regularly updates its website with new sounds. I use this whenever I need to calm my mind, and it's really great to study with. It's not necessary to have depression to use some of these coping mechanisms. Life is stressful. College is stressful. But there are many ways to deal with it, and we all need a little help sometimes. There is no shame in it. You don't need to have a mental illness to seek counseling.
I hope that you found my article helpful, and I hope what you take away from this article is that you don't have to do anything alone and you are not alone.
