You Almost Killed Me, Blackbird. Almost.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

Almost.

You took my joy.

You took my soul.

You took my reason for living.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

I bet you didn't even know that.

Let's be honest,

You probably didn't even care.

But you took what little bit of anything that I had left in me.

It's probably still stained on your T-shirt.

I hope it is.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

You have no idea how many times I've wished I could just die in the past few months.

It was worse at the holidays.

I wanted so badly to be able to pick up the phone and call you.

I wanted to hear your voice on the other end and I wanted not to fall apart.

But let's be honest,

I would have.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

And it's silly that I let you get to me that bad.

Trust me when I say I wish I could kick my own ass for that.

I should have never given you the time of day to begin with.

But I did.

Then I let you hurt me.

Then I let you creep into my dreams.

Then my daily life.

Then my whole being.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

And I have driven myself crazy over you.

Almost insane.

I have been so worried about myself the past few months.

I haven't even recognized the girl in the mirror.

You know why, Blackbird?

That's because I don't get why I let you get to me so bad.

That's not the person I thought I was.

I don't get it.

I still don't get it.

I will never get it.

I guess you just got to me and I didn't know how to make it stop.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

I would look over my shoulder every time I went out the door to make sure you weren't there.

I was afraid I would run into you one day and then what would I say?

I was afraid if I did run into you I would cry.

I would have cried to.

If I could have even breathed when I saw you, that is.

I have been barely breathing for months.

Just barely.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

And while I was just another girl to you

You were not just another guy to me.

But that doesn't matter now.

You're gone.

Maybe for good.

That's probably for the best.

I kind of hope I never have to see you again.

But I kind of hope I do.

Because even though you almost killed me, Blackbird,

Even though you will never know how many tears I cried over you, Blackbird,

And even though you will never care in a million years,

Just know that I thought you were pretty great.

Thought.

Now I realize what you are in the daylight

And I'm wondering how the dark can play such good tricks on the eyes like that.

You're nothing more than a boy.

A boy that never deserved me or my time.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

Almost.......

Guess I'm way stronger than I thought.

Who knew?

I certainly didn't.

You almost killed me, Blackbird.

Almost......