Recently I got a job as a cashier (I’ll not say where, just to retain some semblance of anonymity). There are parts of it that are great, and then there are parts that aren’t as great. Granted, I’ve been working as one for about ten-thirteen days, so perhaps these mishaps will get better with time and experience, but as of right now, I’m almost positive I’m at my wit’s end.

1. When customers aggressively insist on helping bag and inevitably end up mucking up at least bag because they put the produce with the Dove soap.

Look, cashiers are also trained to bag. It’s part of our job - at least where I work - to do that for you when there aren’t any baggers here to help. Please don’t insist on bagging your groceries and then get annoyed when the plastic bag breaks. Or, worse: when something inside the bag breaks.

2. When customers start to complain to me relentless about prices (or about anything, really) without letting me get a word in.

I work at the front end. I’m here at my register for about six hours and thirty minutes (when I’m not taking one of two fifteen minute breaks). I don’t walk around the store. I don’t know what the prices are of every single product here. Unless your produce has a sale price sticker on it (or anything to let me know the price should be x amount of money), unless your product is part of the member card sale price going on (sometimes a box of cookies will cost $2.45 instead of $3.99 if they have a store member card), and/or unless you have a coupon, you’re going to pay the full price. There is nothing I can do about that. Please don’t get grumpy or annoyed with me.

And please don’t start arguing with me about prices or coupons. I’ll put in all your coupons happily, but when one of them won’t take, there’s only so much that I can do. Sometimes I can override a coupon not taking if you got what it’s saying you can save on. Sometimes I can’t.

3. When someone asks me for a pack of cigarettes (and then gets annoyed with me when I don’t grab the exact right one, but a really similar pack)

I don’t know anything about cigarettes in terms of cigarette brands or slang. Okay? It’s because I don’t smoke and I don’t have a family of smokers. Looking for your specific box is like playing Where’s Waldo? for me, except Waldo is an idiot who got lost in a sea of doppelgängers.

4. When customers are being rude/impatient with me because they don't know I'm doing my job


I do not get paid enough to deal with you. I really don’t.

5. They get a ton of groceries that involve produce, ignore the fact that my badge says I’m new here and get annoyed when I go slower because I don’t remember the PLU codes of produce.

I am trying. I promise that I am trying. I want you to get out of here as quickly as possible--just as much as you want to leave. But you don’t need to give me a frustrated look because the code aspect is taking me a while. When there are at least 100 codes, I’m not going to have them memorized right away.

6. You have two items and come to the express lane. when there are a few self-check out stations available for you.

Or, alternatively, you have a large amount of groceries and you decide to come to my lane anyway, deliberately ignoring the fact that this is the express lane and your cart is loaded with items.

I try to not judge any of the customers who come here. I really do try. I know it’s not nice and if I were on the other end, as a customer, I wouldn’t want my cashier to judge me either. I mean, for all I know, they have a physical disability and me ringing them out is easier for them then it would be if they had to do it themselves. However. Some people simply baffle me. You only have two cartons of milk--trust me when I say that you should go to the self-checkout area. Please do it. There are going to be three people behind you that I would much rather expend energy on, and who happen to have a cart of some groceries.

7. You’re overly helpful and it’s annoying

I understand that you want to help in whatever way that happens to look like for you. Maybe it’s aggressively insisting on bagging your groceries, despite the fact that I have been trained to do it. Maybe it’s picking up the scanner next to the register and using it to scan your membership card. It could be a number things. I know this is probably extremely nitpick-y of me, but please stop it. When you decide to start scanning things, it screws things up. If you’re going to bag - fine. Do it. But leave the register area to me.

8. You’re not ready to pay/you forgot an item and went back to go get it.

I hope you know that you’re the reason why we all have to stand here for five minutes while you get your wallet from your car, or an item from aisle 14.

9. You put in your card or swipe it in the machine while I’m still fucking bagging, and then get confused about why it takes a couple tries at the end for payment.

I don’t know why the machines sometimes get screwy. But it doesn’t help when you put your credit card into the chip reader/machine when I’m still ringing out item after item. I don’t know why customers insist on putting their card there when I haven’t finished, but it’s my theory that that’s why the machines will get a bit screwy and take a couple tries before it’ll let you pay.

10. Why are you coming to my lane when the light is off and I am not going to do a transaction for you?

When my light is off, that means that I am going on break or officially done with my shift. I understand that you want to leave the store too, but I’m not going to ring out your items. There are other lanes that you can go to (and don’t pretend you didn’t know I was leaving. My light is off and you’re not blind).