I still can't wrap my head around it. It took every bit of strength I had to not collapse when I heard the news. I thought it was some kind of sick joke. After all, you can't be gone. You were so young and had so much in store; so much life left to live.

My heart has never hurt so much in my entire life. You were my best friend, my go-to for everything. Even though you were hundreds of miles away, it didn’t feel like it. You were always here for me when I needed you the most. You were my best friend, my sister, my everything.

When I got the news, my first instinct was to text you. You were the one I’d always go to when something tragic happened. You always knew exactly what to say and how to comfort me. You were like this with everyone you met. There wasn’t a single person on this earth that could ever hate you, or even dislike you for that matter. You brought positivity and light wherever you went. You truly had a heart of gold. You touched the lives of everyone you met, that I know.

The last text you sent me said “I love you sweet girl, things will be okay. I promise. Sleep well baby girl.” I had no idea that that would be the last. I can’t imagine a life without you and I don’t want to know what it’s going to be like. We helped each other get through so much and I feel like I need you now more than ever to get me through this. I keep wanting to call you, to hear your voice one last time.

I remember when you found out that you had been chosen to write for Odyssey. You were so excited. I couldn’t understand much over the screaming and crying at first. I’ll admit, I was jealous at first, but that never stopped me from helping you and wanting what was best for you. When I found out that I would be writing for Odyssey almost a year later, you were the first person that I told. You shared the same excitement for my accomplishment as you did for your own. You were always supportive of everything I did, especially my writing. You wanted me to finish my book and be successful with it. I am going to do it for you. I’m going to do it because you always believed in me and I won’t let you down. It’s all for you.

I’ll never forget how nearly every time that we would FaceTime each other you would be putting away laundry. I’ll never forget how much you loved sending me Snapchats with your niece. She was your world. We shared a passion for makeup. I was looking forward to getting you that Morphe palette that you wanted for your birthday. I won’t forget the first time we hung out, when I was trying to parallel park in front of your dads house and tapped the license plate of the car behind me. Or how we went to the mall and shopped for hours. Then we had to stop to get dog food on the way home and you carried that 50lb bag like a champ. They are all memories that I will hold with me forever. You’ll live on forever in my heart.

It still doesn’t seem real that my rock is gone. You were the strongest girl, mentally and physically, that I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. You were constantly lifting those around you, even when you needed someone to lift you up. Things were finally starting to look up for you. You got the job you wanted, your business was going well, and you were accomplishing your goals. You had so much life left ahead of you. I won’t ever understand why God took you so soon, just a few weeks shy of your 21st birthday. I hope you didn't feel anything because you didn’t deserve to go in pain. I really believe that you put me where I was when I found out. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like if I was anywhere else, especially alone, when I found out. I was with the most supportive person I have in my life now that you're gone. You knew that I needed to be in that environment. You’re now my guardian angel. Even though you’re no longer here, you will still protect and support me wherever I go. I already can feel you watching over me.

I love you so much, baby girl. A day won’t go by where I don’t think of you. Rest easy, angel.