Slut was always a word that was implied in my circles, growing up. We were good Christian kids. We didn't openly call girls in less than desired clothing sluts, but that doesn't mean we didn't interchange the words slut and immodest like the two words bared the same definitions.
"That midriff top she's wearing is awfully immodest,"
"The guys wouldn't make inappropriate comments about her if she'd just dress modestly,"
Variations of these sentences flew out of our mouths in casual conversations. At 16, I didn't know what I was doing. I was heavier than I liked, altering myself in a desperate attempt to fit an unattainable mold that was set before me, and so jealous of these girls I saw who classily bore their skin... and was comfortable.
My reasoning with this was I was still under the false pretense that if a girl "dressed modestly", or to the standards of the circles I was running around with, then men wouldn't have bad thoughts about her. I placed more weight on the male gaze then I did on a girl's control and comfort in her own body.
But I was made aware of the sick truth that a girl could be wearing jeans and a loose shirt and still be harassed by my own experience and what I learned throughout that experience is this: never again will I judge my modesty and clothing by the male gaze because honestly...
none of it matters.
Slut shaming is a trend that needs to die in 2017 because the male gaze should not define women. So what if a girl is showing off her stomach or she's wearing a tight dress? Do you realize how much confidence it takes to step out into a world knowing that people will tell you to "put some clothes on" even though their sons run around without their shirts on? Acting like showing skin is a negative character flaw for a girl is like acting like wearing the color blue is sexist of a guy.
When you slut shame, you give more power to the ones who act on inappropriate thoughts. That's why a woman is always asked how drunk they were or what they were wearing when they are sexually abused. That's why young girls are sent home from schools because "they can't focus" when a shoulder is seen and then everyone is surprised when the teacher is accused of some sexual misconduct. That's why Demi Lovato is told to put clothes on when an Instagram photo of her in a bikini is posted, yet Justin Beiber is begged to turn around when a nude of his back end is posted. That's why certain sexual pictures are kept on Instagram containing nudity, meanwhile Instagram pictures not directed at the male gaze, containing the same amount of nudity, are removed.
Ladies, this is not an all call to give the middle finger to the world and parade around naked, because I am a firm believer that there is a time and a place. However, this is a call to our world to get with the times and realize that we, as women, aren't here for your entertainment. We are not your viewing pleasure. Our lives are not about you and trying to shame us to fit your standards of who we should be is a sick waste of time.
