After watching some talk show where the hosts debated whether you should or shouldn’t change in a relationship, I thought about my own experience and what the idea of “change” means to me. It’s an on-going debate that I decided to tackle.

I don’t think you should completely change yourself for someone else. A relationship shouldn’t make you question your values or your feelings. You should want to be yourself. Your significant other should make you want to be the best version of that self, and that’s when I think it’s okay to change.

Maybe this change means trying foods you never tried but claim not to like, but are foods they love. The second time you give them a try, you may like them. Even the idea of giving a new food a chance is evidence of some change. Instead of sticking to your dislike, you put yourself out there to try something new.

Or maybe it means you’ll pick up a different sport or begin to listen to a new genre of music. It’s okay to try new things because your significant other likes them. You may even realize that you like going to baseball games more than you did before. Take each new opportunity try new things and have different experiences than you’re used to.

Changing in a relationship can also be something that happens within you. As someone who has occasionally struggled with confidence, I can say that I’ve certainly changed that since my last relationship. Having someone root for you and build you up when you feel broken can change the way you see yourself. You can find yourself with an even better positive attitude knowing that someone sees the best in you.

Sometimes, we get so used to our routine that we try to close ourselves off from change. I think one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that relationships are about compromise. Being single means you can make decisions for yourself without having to consider anyone else’s thoughts or feelings. However, in a relationship these usual habits can change. You start to think about the way you do things may impact your significant other.

As human beings, we’re always trying to improve ourselves. We study so we can do better in school just like we practice sports so we can have better skills. I think that relationships can follow the same concept. You improve yourself while beginning a life with another person. Each new day in a relationship is a challenge. Whether it’s big or small, you learn something new everyday. When you work together, these can lead to changes within yourself that you may not even notice right away.

Change is scary, but it’s also inevitable. You should always be yourself and find someone who brings out the best in you. Embracing change isn’t easy, but if done with the right person, it can turn out to be something amazing.