Listicles and relationships: College students' favorite things to read about.
My boyfriend and I will have been dating for one whole year this week! In light of that, I've been thinking a lot about the things that did change when we started dating and things that didn't change when we started dating. Since we spent a lot of time waiting to date, and now, almost a whole year dating, it's pretty easy for us to see the differences or similarities between those two stages.
This article is going to be about things that do change when you enter a relationship, and my next article will be about things that don't change (and shouldn't change) when you enter a relationship.
1. Your relationship status
Obviously.
This is important to note because to an extent, your new relationship status will affect your other relationships. Being wary of that will save your relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend and with everyone else. A changed relationship status means you have to be even more intentional about every relationship in your life. Easier said than done.
2. How you spend your time
This goes back to number one: You need to be intentional about where and how you spend your time.
This isn't just deciding that you're going to spend time with your girlfriend on Tuesday, it's also deciding how your time together on Tuesday will be spent.
It also isn't just about your girlfriend, it's about every other relationship.
3. Expectations
Before we were dating, my boyfriend's and my friends got so frustrated with us, feeling like what we were doing was no different than dating. While we definitely agree that there were many areas in which we could have done much better than we did during that period, one of the biggest differences between not-dating and dating was expectations.
We had no authority to hold any expectations or to make solid boundaries until we started dating. As soon as we began dating, expectations suddenly emerged in regards to spending time together, going on dates, physical affection, communication (that was a huge one), etc.
We found that we each had expectations that we never could have predicted beforehand, and they didn't arise until the "Dating" label was plastered onto our relationship. Expectations are inevitable, and they're good. But communication is absolutely crucial, especially when it comes to expectations. Conflict evolves when expectations are not discussed and grace is not shown.
4. How you spend your money
Budgeting is vital in general, but its importance is more apparent when your money is also being fed into your relationship. We struggle with spending our money on the right things, and saving our money for the right things. Accountability is so important here.
5. Your association
Whether you like it or not (and I really hope you do like it), entering a relationship links you with the other person. This does not change your worth, identity, or value. A relationship could never affect those things. However, you do become associated with your significant other, and you have to be okay with that.
If you're not okay with that, then there are probably bigger issues at hand.
Inevitably, you and your significant other will be connected. That's what you get for holding hands.
You begin to express parts of yourself that very few people may have seen before (hopefully this is a good thing). This is healthy. Take these five inevitable changes and work together to make them improvements.
