It would be a lie to say that Greek life is not a big deal at my school. On a campus where 48 percent of the student population is involved in some sort of Greek organization, it sometimes it feels as if I am surrounded by people sporting their letters. I am a proud member of the Panhellenic community, as are many of my friends. Although I am one of many, I still consider it a privilege to be a part of Greek life.
However, when I talk about my wonderful boyfriend to people who know I’m in a sorority, I always end up answering the same question: “No, he’s not in a fraternity.”
The fact that my boyfriend is not in Greek life surprises many people. I’ve tried to understand why, and I’ve come up with a few logical reasons for their confusion.
Many people assume that the only way a sorority girl could meet a nice guy is at a fraternity party. I’ll admit, I’ve been to my fair share of fraternity parties, however I would not say these parties are ideal places to have a meaningful conversation with someone that you’ve just met. The music is loud, there is drunken debauchery surrounding you, and unfortunately, most of the guys (although I will try not to generalize) are just looking for a girl to hook up with for the night. Although fraternity parties are fun, I would not consider them an idyllic place to find the man of my dreams.
People also assume that because I’m in Greek life, I only associate with people who are also involved in Greek life. People most likely base this assumption on the stereotypical portrayal of Greek life in movies that shows a great and divisive schism between those who are Greek and those who aren’t. Although this may be true to some people, I can personally say that I do not determine the value of my relationships (romantic or not) based on involvement in Greek life.
People choose not to participate in Greek life for many reasons, none of which I have the right to judge. While Greek life is an amazing opportunity to meet people, develop leadership skills, and give back to the community, it is not for everyone. There are many other organizations on college campuses that offer similar benefits that may be a better fit for other people.
Additionally, there is so much more to build a relationship on than just Greek life. I love that my boyfriend and I are different. We have so much more to talk about than the latest philanthropy event, T-shirt order or mixer. He has introduced me to an entirely new group of people, many of whom I may not have ventured to meet if it weren’t for him. I love that he is passionate about things that I do not know that much about and vice versa. Our differences allow us grow in our relationship and as individuals.
Our relationship is special because even though we do not always do the same exact things, we see the value in what the other person is involved in. I love going to watch ultimate Frisbee with him, and he is a good sport when I drag him to my formal. We have mutual respect for the activities and organizations that we are each a part of.
I am in no way bashing the Greek system, or those who choose to date within it. I simply believe that relationships with those who are not in Greek life should not be discounted or dismissed. The differences among people are what make for rich relationships. We must not perpetuate the ignorant belief that people should only associate or date people who are exactly like them.
