Its not because I am addicted. Its not because I am afraid of the millennial stereotype that all millennials seem to be running away from. Its not because I want to make a statement of who I am or what I think of social media. Its not because I want to seem smarter or above those around me who regularly use social media. This isn't about anyone else except me.

Now this may sound selfish, and maybe it is. But I am tired. I am tired of feeling like I am going on “adventures” just so I can post about them and show how great of a time I am having. I am tired of trying to get the perfect picture to upload and taking so much time to come up with the best caption. I hate that I am often thinking about people that I no longer see and how this post will prove to them that I am still surviving, and not just surviving but enjoying life. I am tired of fighting to be the first one in my group of friends to post about our great adventures, and in turn giving up conversation to be on my phone. I am constantly competing to prove that I have the best friends and experiences and ideas. I don't want to be the friend that is always staring at their screen, always snap chatting every cool event that I go to, obsessing over creating a life that is not truly lived. Recently I’ve watched my friends and their social media presence. I feel that too often what is posted is not in an attempt to show what is really happening, but to create facade. Why do we feel the need to create a fake persona through media outlets? I want to actually live my life with fun and creativity, not force others to see my life that way through what I am posting.

This isn't to say that I wont post. There are so many ways to use social media to show who I really am. I love that my family and friends that I don't get to see can keep up with what I am doing, and I get to see where they are at in their lives and celebrate with them over the many happy moments. But I don't want to continue to try to fit my life into the format of 140 characters, one photo, or an emoji. I am tired of caring about the number of “likes” I have. I want to continue taking pictures and videos, but instead of worrying about the right angle or which shot looks best for Instagram I want to be in the moment. Creating memories that I can look back on and laugh or cry and feel joy and love. I need to get back to the pure ideas of friends and family, because right now I can’t afford to continue to obsess over the life I am trying to portray to an audience that doesn't really need to see all the great experiences I am having.

I am tired of trying to live my life through social media. I feel the pressure of presenting my "perfect life" to everyone who follows me. I am ready to start making memories that are real and true. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about what you are doing, just as long as you are happy with where you are going. Be a person that you love, and don't let social media dictate who that needs to be. By cutting back on my social media presence, I hope to find who I truly am and grow to be happy with what I am doing in my life, rather that seeking for the approval of those who couldn't (and shouldn't) care less.