In the past year I turned eighteen, was accepted into college, graduated high school, and began my freshman year at the University of New Hampshire. To state the obvious, this has been a big year for me. I understand that many people want to forget that this year even happened, but for me, I will remember it forever. For the class of 2016, this has been the most emotional, liberating, and eye opening year of our lives. A lot has changed for us and now we’re saying hello to the new year.
A year ago, the thought of 2016 scared me. I thought back to my freshman year of high school back in 2012 and the principal told us our graduating year. He told us to make these four years memorable, because in a blink of an eye they’re gone. My fourteen year old self couldn’t comprehend the speed four years can go, but at eighteen I understand. So on January 1st, 2016 at my ex’s house, I recognized how much has changed, including myself. I recognized how much was going to change, how my time in high school was coming to an end, and although it was scary I couldn’t wait for it to happen.
On my eighteenth birthday I thought about how much had changed since January. My graduation was just days away and the feeling of completion and satisfaction had settled in my gut. I ate chocolate cake, telling myself that the next week would need to be remembered. Senior Banquet, Convocation, marching practices, decorating my cap, and finally receiving my diploma was all to come that very week. My four years came down to one week.
Graduation day I walked into the library, taking it all in. This was my year and finally my day. With my six inch wedges I thought about not falling walking to the football field. I thought about myself at fourteen, sixteen, and now. I thought about all the times I switched schools, the trials I had endured and the people I met. I thought about how proud I was, and still am, of myself. For being accepted into the school I dreamed about and growing into a person I know my younger self would be proud of. Walking to my seat, in front of more people than I expected, was the most surreal experience. I looked up at the bleachers, searching for my family. It was sunny and warm with a light breeze; a perfect day. One of the speeches given by a student was about how our class cannot be defined by numbers. That took me back, as I’ve been defined by my GPA, my SAT scores, and grades all throughout my time in high school. It was a nice thought, not to be defined by these numbers, but the reality is I am. As she continued with her speech, I began to understand her point. Yes, I am defined by these numbers. But who I am as a person, an individual, is not defined by this. My kindness, my ambitions, my fears, my flaws, and my passions are not defined by these numbers. My GPA is important along with my grades, but I cannot get lost in a sea of numbers and lose sight of who I am. I want to be successful and to get there, who I am and my numbers go hand in hand. So as I walked across the stage and finally held my diploma, I said goodbye to those numbers and my old self and welcomed a new beginning.
That new beginning included moving into my new room at UNH and meeting many amazing friends. It involved many meetings with professors, lots of time in the library, and numerous drafts of papers. It included falling and standing back up, coming home feeling lost, and asking myself over and over what I’m doing with my life. I still can’t answer that question. In one year, so much has changed. 2016 brought so much for me and I’m incredibly thankful.
Thank you mom, dad, and Jason for supporting me throughout this year, watching me mess up and helping me pick myself up again. You three are awesome.
As 2017 arrives, I again think about the coming year and how scary it is. But as always, there are mistakes to be made, lessons to be learned, and memories that will not be forgotten that this year will give us.
