The Impact A Year Made On My Depression

The Impact A Year Made On My Depression

A lot can change in a year if you let it.

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A year ago almost to the day I went into a state of depression. I had just left all of my friends at my dream school to move back into my mom's house and go to a community college back home. There were many reasons why I left, but none of them could justify this huge life decision that I was making. I was mad at the world for putting so many obstacles in my way. I tried to overcome them for awhile, but I finally realized that I was just postponing what needed to be done.

It was my second semester of school and I had just moved back into the dorms after winter break. I was so excited to reunite with my friends after being gone for so long. I went to my first day of classes and everything was going good. When the time came to buy books, they were about double the price I had anticipated. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. After talking it over with multiple family members and a lot of prayer, I decided to pack all my stuff up-only just moving in two days prior, and headed home. This was a huge deal for me because getting into my dream school was a huge accomplishment, and now I'm leaving shamefully.

I had a really good scholarship for a community college back home that most of my friends decided to take advantage of, but I was so excited to get out of this town that I was willing to do anything. I went to this super cool/fun university and now I am back at home living with my mom going to a community college. I was so full of shame and regret, I felt as if I had let everyone down. Lets just say it was hard for me to process this.

The day I left all I remember is crying so much that I was severely dehydrated. I shouldn't have even been driving because I was such a wreck I was afraid I might cause one. I get home, schedule my classes online so I don't get behind, but mainly so I didn't have to leave the house. And that is exactly how I was for months on end. I sat at home spending an hour doing homework and the rest of my time staring at blank walls. I didn't hardly eat or sleep at all. I never left the house unless my mom forced me-because she was worried about me. Anytime we went anywhere I would cry hysterically the whole time. She tried everything to cheer me up, but I was convinced everyone hated me so I could do nothing except cry. There is not many words for this. I just felt alone.

My mom finally uses the tactic of keeping me busy. She started helping me look for jobs-which was a nightmare until I finally found one. I brought up all the joy I could for the interview, and I get a call maybe an hour later saying I got the job. For some reason this made me happy cry-for the first time in months the tears weren't a bad thing. I started listening to more positive music to help motivate me at work. If something made me upset, I hid it and looked at it with a positive attitude. I didn't want to do anything that could jeopardize this. I suddenly had less time to think about how sad I was and more time put all my energy and focus into my work. From there things started getting clear. What I wanted and who I wanted to be in life.

Every day I wake up and I try to have a positive impact on those around me. I try to be that person that reaches out if there is something wrong. I do this because that is all I needed, and you never know what someone's home life is like. Here I am a year later doing what I love with people who have helped me along the way. I have the same amazing job with a few new great friends. I can still remember the exact songs that I listened to whenever I was coming out of my depressed state and whenever I hear them now I just can't help but smile. A year can do so much for your life, you just have to find that one thing that helps you make it through everyday.

"It's a bad day, not a bad life"

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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The Cliche 'Follow Your Heart' Is Probably The Most Important Cliche Of All Time

Our heart or our brain? What should we listen to first?

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In life, we are constantly faced with tough decisions concerning relationships, college, career, marriage … the list of decisions we must make in a lifetime is endless. This means, however, that there are plenty of moments in our life where we will put into question our very own intuition, where we will waste time going back and forth between our mind and our soul. So then we ask ourselves when faced with a decision, what do we listen to? What should we listen to? Our brain or our heart?

Yeah, okay so following your heart is probably the most cliche thing you've ever heard. Our younger selves constantly heard the saying all the time growing up. Did we act on it? Maybe, but not in the ways that we should be acting on it now. Give it a chance and just think about it for a second.

I've realized that as you get older, it becomes harder to just listen to yourself. There are distractions all around you. Some come from the comments of your peers, some come from the devices in your hands, some come from the news headlines you see in bold. With this, you find yourself struggling to find a balance between thinking about something and just doing it. You find yourself unable to decipher what exactly you should listen to. You suddenly become lost within your own little world.

Who would you be if you didn't follow your heart? Would your life be completely different than it is now?

If we think about how we got to the place we're at today, we simultaneously also think about those decisions I mentioned earlier. And those decisions were probably mostly made from our own intuition, not from logistical thinking. The sad part is we don't even realize this, and we don't even realize how important this is.

How did you choose a college? Deciding where you're going to spend the next four years of your life, working towards a career is a big deal. Some will describe their decision as a feeling they got when they stepped on campus. Yes, the tuition was a factor along with retention rates and undergraduate programs and study abroad opportunities, but the one factor that truly mattered was how they felt so at home, while in reality being so far away from their hometown. So, this decision was made from a feeling, this decision was made from the heart.

Relationships. When deciding to tell someone you love them, you're following your heart. When deciding to commit to someone in a relationship or in a friendship or whatever it may be, you're following your heart. You're putting everything on the line because of how you feel. Nothing else matters. Just the two of you, together, happy and in love. And because of that, because of the magnitude of that one feeling, you listen to your heart first and figure out everything else later. Now, being able to have that, being able to experience this type of love, well that's just one of the best feelings in the world.

We can even consider a career. When trying to figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life, you are looking for that feeling, for that career to find you. You are searching for that inevitable inclination telling you, you're meant to do something in this world. You dream big imagining yourself doing this one job that you feel so passionately about, changing the world and inspiring others to do the same. You are motivated by this one field so much that you decide to do it for the rest of your life. If that's not following your heart, then I don't know what is.

It seems so obvious. We hear "follow your heart" all the time. But do we ever actually realize how much impact a heart can have on one's life? No. And that's why it's maybe not so obvious. Because we're told to follow our hearts, but we never actually take the time to comprehend it. And so, we live our lives letting this concept of intuition before cognition become underrated. We let it secretly impact some of our most important life decisions without even ever realizing it.

So realize it. From now on don't just listen. Act. Follow your heart as much as you can and never look back.

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