Yes, You Should Write Down Who You Hook up With
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Swoon

I Write Down My Dick Appointments And You Should Too

You need to be able to recall every sexual moment in case anything goes wrong

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I Write Down My Dick Appointments And You Should Too
Bridesmaids

If you are in college, especially if you are a lady, then you probably have an agenda/planner. Most girls spend over $30 for the massive planners, myself being one of those girls, that have the cute stickers, decorative pages, and huge spaces for you to write out all the nights you are "going to do homework."

Inside of my planner you will find color-coded assignments, the occasional stickers placed beside my favorite peoples birthday, and my most recent dick appointments.

Wait, what?

Yes, you read that correctly—I write in my planner every time I have sex. Even if it was just oral, it is written down.

I live at home, so my parents are liable to walk into my room at any time. I normally leave my planner out and about without fear of it being opened. WHAT, WHY? Because who would want to read about when I have my next Pharmacology exam (I don't even want to know when my next one is). It is so easy to keep my other life a secret because it is all written down in a pineapple planner, and unless my parents are Nancy Drew... then they should have no need in digging through that G-Rated planner.

I do not write personal information down to be able to recall my body count, brag about my hookups, or to have a rebellious lifestyle behind my parents back. Instead, I am more worried about an unwanted pregnancy or catching an STD. The reason why each person, I am sexually active with, is written down is because I want to be able to look back on the name & time frame and ask:

1. Where did I get this odd burning sensation from?

2. Who da baby daddy?

Absolutely I use condoms, I cannot stress how important safe sex is—but shit happens. Condoms are not 100% with preventing pregnancy or STDs, so it is beneficial to be able to open a planner, see when the symptoms started happening, and be able to reach out to that person.

STDs are so common, and many of them are asymptomatic, meaning they do not even show any signs of symptoms. It is important to be tested regularly, due to this fact, and be able to have sex without fearing giving someone the itchy itchy, ya feel? But, in case it happens, wouldn't it be easier to find the source and only confront them instead of the other five people you slept with?

And pregnancy! I am so young, and power to the young single mothers out there, but I do not want to be one. Boys, if I ever end up carrying your child just know I will be coming for you—mama will be racking in the child support. Accidents happen, but your child should know who their father is, and also the guy should be aware of what happened. No mother should go through pregnancy alone, so be able to recall which guy is the father.

My planner is far from cute on the inside. It is full of names, and dates, yes to the boys that I slept with that are reading this, YOU ARE IN THERE. I write everyone down for my own safety. I would recommend any sexually active girl to start making notes of their hookups, and do not be ashamed of the number of names in the book—DO YOU, SIS! Be creative when writing them down, make up some kind of code & simply write it down on the calendar. You can be secretive or open like me and write: "DICK APPT @ _______," either way don't be ashamed, be proud of the initiative you are taking by wanting to be safe and healthy.

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