Dear my beloved major,

For one thing, you really should know that you are a huge part of my life. You’re much more than just my major, but I’m sorry that I am not treating you as such. I’m sorry that I am not respecting you or what you allow me to do. I’m sorry if you think I’ve given up on you, but I have not.

During the summer, I would blame it all on writer’s block. I was “in a stump” and I kept thinking that it would all “come to me later.” But I don’t think that’s true. Sure, I was having trouble creating something out of you, but it wasn’t simply due to writer’s block. I hate to admit it, but I think I gave up on you a little bit. I stopped writing more often not because I needed to, but because I wanted to.

Isn’t that shameful? When your major stops feeling like your major? When everything you thought you wanted to do feels out of place? That’s how I’ve felt these last four months.

Since the beginning of May, I’ve been kind of lost with my writing when I just want to be lost in it. This summer, I didn’t even think about how much I love writing. It’s as if the creative part of my brain simply stopped working. So I stopped trying or caring because I didn't think it was a big deal. But it was.

Between working and spending time with friends, it’s easy to get distracted from writing. I know I got distracted from you this summer, but I'm not saying that was a bad thing. However, I did learn this summer that writing and journalism are completely different things. I spent a lot of this summer writing journalistic pieces for an internship, which was incredibly difficult for me since I never knew how to write from a journalistic aspect.

And no matter how hard I worked to create a good piece, I’d just get told that I was doing it all wrong and my work would be altered so much that it wasn’t even my own anymore. I think that’s the main reason why I slipped away from you. I got too discouraged and by the truth. But then again, that’s my own fault.

The most important thing for you to know is that despite how much I ignored you this summer, I’m going to make up for it. When I was turning away from writing, I was also turning away from risk taking, and I know that shows. When I stopped writing, I stopped being me. I stopped making an effort to think about my future and what I wanted. But as I write this to you today, I’m telling you that I’m back to knowing that this should be my major. I, therefore, promise that I’m going to give it my all when I write, whether it be for a class or just for myself. But most of all I will actually write, and I promise that I’m not lying when I say this all to you.

All my love,

A Still Aspiring Writer