It's 2018, everyone is stressed. "Stress" is no longer an excuse to treat people like shit. You're mad about something? You say it. You don't like something? You say it. Something bothers you? You say it. Stop making the people around you miserable just because you're miserable. I'm over it, and I'm over being around people who do that.

I don't know why, but today was a very stressful day. Actually, that's a lie, I know why I was stressed. I just get upset with myself when other people's insecurities get to me, and today seemed like everyone was projecting their insecurities onto me. Ya feels?

As I sat in the library, all I could think about was how much I needed a bottle of red wine. I soon remembered that I was on antibiotics until Friday, so I was saddened all over again. What now? How do I blow off steam? I don't have time to go to the gym. If I cry now, I probably will sob and cry for two hours. I took all my emotions and shoved them up a nice pocket I like to call my subconscious. I will go back to it once I finish this accounting homework.

See, I was handling stress fine. Up until the moment I received a super long message that was petty as ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuu. You know when something is so stupid that you don't want it to bother you, so you don't let it bother you. BUT it's so stupid that you can't stop thinking about how stupid it is, and then you get angry. But then you get angry that you are angry about something so stupid? Because that was happening and I was annoyed at how stupid it was.

It helps to write about it. I used to have a diary, all my life actually. But then one day I lost it during my sophomore year in high school, and I never wrote again. I was so sad that so many great memories were lost. All the crushes I had, gone. All the stupid little details I remembered from someone's outfit, or what they said to me – gone. But now I'm 20, and the bullshit I have to deal with every day keeps piling up. So I took on typing.

I like writing on Odyssey the best because I can say what I mean. There is no filter to it. It's nice, especially in a world where everyone is getting offended and everyone takes everything the wrong way. It's just so relieving. I mean, you can still talk crap, but it doesn't get to me here. It's the one place I feel like I'm genuinely not being judged. Recently, I've been getting a lot of judgment for being myself and it sucks butt. It's the first time in a while that I'm actually okay with myself and feel comfortable, and it just feels like I get pooped on. So I pull out my computer and I type.

I don't even know what I am writing half the time. And honestly, most times I feel like I am not making sense. I'm having brain diarrhea and things just spill out of my brain constantly. That's when I write. It makes all the anxiety go away. See, I am very responsive towards my environment. I am one of those people in nature versus nurture that would be 100% nurture. I can tolerate a lot of stress, but if I can't go home to my safe space, I panic the flip out. I need my safe space, and I've learned to find that safe space in a mindset, not a place.

I think they call it a hobby, but I call it my stress reliever. To be completely honest, it's one of the healthiest outlets I have ever had. I used to binge eat when stressed, and that made me feel like a whale. I used to workout, but that would make me too tired. There's something about typing though, even if no one reads what I write, it makes me feel better.