I Would Rather Be Your Mistress

I Would Rather Be Your Mistress

"I ain't no wifey... It's way more fun to be the mistress" -Kehlani
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By the name of this article, I know you're thinking that this is going to be a pro-cheating article. And you're asking questions like what about a real commitment? Or exactly what do you mean by mistress? But this article is not a pro-cheating article, I don’t think that anyone should be cheated on or people should cheat on a person but I also don’t believe that a relationship is real until everyone in the relationship has trust in themselves and the others included in the relationship.

First, let's define what I mean by cheating and mistress because everyone has a different definition. When I think of cheating, I don't think of flirting with someone that isn't your partner; some people just have a flirty personality. When I think of cheating I think of having sex or kissing someone that isn't your partner, I also think of having enough compassion with another person that you want to say I love you. What I mean by mistress is exactly what the definition of a mistress is; a woman that is having a relationship with a man that is in another relationship with a woman. And I would rather be her; the side chick, mistress, the girl that your guy is cheating on you with.

Why?

Why not? That person usually knows that they're cheating and they know that they shouldn't fall in love with them because they might drop you the next day. Yes, some people do fall in love with that person while being the side chick but that's their fault, they know what they're getting themselves into. When you're the girlfriend you don't think that the person is going to cheat on you, you think that both of you are on the same page.

I'm not saying that I'm going to go out looking for a guy that has a girlfriend, I'm not looking to be a mistress but I'm also not looking to get hurt because the person I love has cheated on me.

I wouldn't pick being a mistress over being in love but to be in love you need trust in your relationship. And to have trust you can't cheat or have been cheated on because it makes it harder for you to trust in other relationships.

A lot of people mistake cheating for not wanting what they have; for example, if your boyfriend cheats on you, you're going to think that it's because he doesn't want you anymore but that’s not exactly accurate. They might not want you anymore but that’s not the main reason people cheat, it’s because they’re not getting something that they need; whether it's compassion or sex their not getting it from you, so they go looking somewhere else which happens to be out of the relationship.

Now I'm not saying that cheating is okay because it is absolutely not okay, you're hurting the person you love. But, I would rather know that he's cheating then find out that he cheated. It hurts more when they cheat and lie about it then when they cheat and tell you right away.

Cover Image Credit: kehlani.updates

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I’m The Kind Of Person Who Is Happiest When I'm In A Relationship, There Is Nothing Wrong With That

Please stop acting like there is.

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There seems to be this odd notion that it's not alright to be the kind of person that prefers being in a relationship to being single. Usually, when I mention to people that I tend to be the happiest when I'm in a relationship, I get met with, "Well. you aren't ready for one yet until you are happiest by yourself" or "That isn't good, you'll always be dependent on someone for happiness then" or even, "Well, if you can't make yourself happy, then you can't make anyone else happy either."

Allow me to clarify a few things here.

First of all, just because I am happiest when I am in a relationship does not mean that I am not happy when I am not in one. I am still capable of being happy outside of a relationship, and I am capable of making myself happy. Generally, on a day to day basis, I'm pretty happy.

The thing is, I'm just in love with love. Even just knowing that there is someone out there that cares so deeply about you that they want to spend a part of their life with you is incredible. To me, there's just no better feeling in the world than having someone that you can share your life with. Sure, coming home from work, making myself my favorite meal and watching some Netflix in bed by myself afterward would be a great way to end a day and would make me happy.

It would make me immeasurably happier, however, to come home from work around the same time as the girl I'm dating does, share stories of how our respective days went while cooking a meal together, and ending the night cuddling in bed watching Netflix together until we fall asleep. Nearly anything I can do by myself that will make me happy can be enhanced by having someone I love with me to share it with.

To counter another point, I am not, nor will I ever be, dependent on someone else to be happy.

As I've mentioned, I'm completely capable of being happy by myself; I'm simply happier when I'm in a relationship. I also tend to be happier than I am normally when I am listening to music and writing. Nobody would ever say that I'm dependent on listening to music and writing or that I shouldn't write a single letter or listen to a single note again until I learn to be even happier without them than I am with them.

I get that some people just like being single and think it's enjoyable. They don't like being tied down or committed to any one person. They like being able to go out and do whatever they want without having to think about anyone at home worrying about them. They don't want to put in the work of having to worry about someone else. I'm not that kind of person. I'll never be that kind of person.

I love being tied down and fully committed to one person, knowing that they are committed to me, as well.

I love having someone that I know cares and worries about me, and that knows I care and worry about them, too. I simply adore being in a relationship, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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