I Would Rather Be Your Mistress

I Would Rather Be Your Mistress

"I ain't no wifey... It's way more fun to be the mistress" -Kehlani
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By the name of this article, I know you're thinking that this is going to be a pro-cheating article. And you're asking questions like what about a real commitment? Or exactly what do you mean by mistress? But this article is not a pro-cheating article, I don’t think that anyone should be cheated on or people should cheat on a person but I also don’t believe that a relationship is real until everyone in the relationship has trust in themselves and the others included in the relationship.

First, let's define what I mean by cheating and mistress because everyone has a different definition. When I think of cheating, I don't think of flirting with someone that isn't your partner; some people just have a flirty personality. When I think of cheating I think of having sex or kissing someone that isn't your partner, I also think of having enough compassion with another person that you want to say I love you. What I mean by mistress is exactly what the definition of a mistress is; a woman that is having a relationship with a man that is in another relationship with a woman. And I would rather be her; the side chick, mistress, the girl that your guy is cheating on you with.

Why?

Why not? That person usually knows that they're cheating and they know that they shouldn't fall in love with them because they might drop you the next day. Yes, some people do fall in love with that person while being the side chick but that's their fault, they know what they're getting themselves into. When you're the girlfriend you don't think that the person is going to cheat on you, you think that both of you are on the same page.

I'm not saying that I'm going to go out looking for a guy that has a girlfriend, I'm not looking to be a mistress but I'm also not looking to get hurt because the person I love has cheated on me.

I wouldn't pick being a mistress over being in love but to be in love you need trust in your relationship. And to have trust you can't cheat or have been cheated on because it makes it harder for you to trust in other relationships.

A lot of people mistake cheating for not wanting what they have; for example, if your boyfriend cheats on you, you're going to think that it's because he doesn't want you anymore but that’s not exactly accurate. They might not want you anymore but that’s not the main reason people cheat, it’s because they’re not getting something that they need; whether it's compassion or sex their not getting it from you, so they go looking somewhere else which happens to be out of the relationship.

Now I'm not saying that cheating is okay because it is absolutely not okay, you're hurting the person you love. But, I would rather know that he's cheating then find out that he cheated. It hurts more when they cheat and lie about it then when they cheat and tell you right away.

Cover Image Credit: kehlani.updates

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.
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My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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From The Girl Who's Going Through The Unknown Trials And Tribulations Of Being Newly Single

Being newly single can be hard, for reasons that don't incorporate your ex
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SO, I just got out of a THREE YEAR RELATIONSHIP and things have been a challenge and a half. Not for the reasons you may think because if we are being completely honest and cruel, I have no emotion towards the ghost of this mans past but that’s beside the point. My problems lie where people least expect since according to everyone that hasn’t been in an aggressively long relationship, this is my time to go crazy and glow up.

WELL, THAT’S THE PROBLEM.

I am expected to suddenly master the single lifestyle and become Kim Kardashian in the span of literally two months. But this is simply not the case, and I’m sure most newly single ~ladies~ can relate.



I literally have no idea how to be a single human. I mean, I’m fine by myself, I actually prefer being by myself, but how does one flirt? Find dates to formal? Just be a normal, single woman? I am confused, and I think I will remain confused for a long while.

This past week, I tried to FEED A MAN A CHIP FROM MY FANNY PACK while at a party because in my mind, that was normal, flirtatious activity. Not only did I try to shove food down a man's throat, but I was also wearing a fanny pack. I have so many questions for myself that will most likely be answered with time, but until then, I will continue, through trial and error, to figure out the art of being #single.

I also really dislike the hype of “glowing up” post-relationship because that takes TIME. Every girl that has been in a four-day relationship takes to Twitter or Instagram to show their dramatic (and immediate) post break up, glow up. WELL, let me tell you something.

This is not the case for those of us who were in it for the long haul. I AM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE MY ISH OUT, I DON’T HAVE TIME TO BODY BUILD AND MASTER MY SKINCARE ROUTINE. I’m still trying to figure myself out because this is the first time in three years that I have been completely alone with myself for this long.

I’m working on an internal glow up and succeeding too, which is why the world needs to GET OFF MY BACK. Hopefully, this summer will be the season of external change but until then, plz don’t expect much :-).



SO, basically, the point of this article was to try to explain that being newly single can be hard for reasons that don’t incorporate your ex-man's, because to be honest, getting over them can sometimes be the easiest part if the breakup has been long past due.

The hardest part lies in trying to figure out who you actually are without someone directly related to your identity. I still have people from my hometown asking me how he is and what he’s up to, and TBH, I have no clue, but I can assure them that Frankie is doing just fine.

Cover Image Credit: Instagram

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