The Worst Disney Channel Original Movies

The Worst Disney Channel Original Movies

Ruining your childhood one made-for-TV movie at a time
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Disney Channel Original Movies were a staple of our childhood. Don't lie, whenever you saw that group of racially diverse kids doing jump splits over the giant reels of film you knew it was about to be a great hour and a half.

MOM IT'S STARTING GET THE POPCORN!

But for every "Halloweentown" or "Luck of the Irish," there were a few that were just cringe-worthy, and no amount of nostalgia can make these seem any more cute or any less weird (or awful).

5. Pixel Perfect

Ricky Ullman falls in love with a hologram.

A computerized blow-up doll.

Out of the tens of people it took to write/direct/produce/market/star in this movie, not one stopped and pointed out the fact that they were making a kids movie about a boy who falls in love with a computer?

Spike Jonze got unending praise for his incredible film "Her," but I'm still convinced it's just a ripoff of "Pixel Perfect."


4. Susie Q

This would be adorable if one of them weren't dead.


A beautiful quasi-love story about two teenagers.

One just happened to have drowned 40 years before the start of the movie.

Again, nobody involved stopped to question this plot?

But they don't end up together (thank God). In the end, another girl who looks just like the ghost girl falls in love with Zach.

So he finds love with a girl who reminds him of the girl who drowned half a century ago, because every successful romance starts off with the phrase "you remind me of someone who died in a tragic accident..."

Also, I don't want to sound like a prude, but is that how teenagers dressed in the 50s? That looks like Victoria's Secret's Barbie-themed collection.


3. The Proud Family Movie

From 2001 to 2005, "The Proud Family" did what virtually no other Disney Channel shows did: provide programming directly aimed at African-American youth (representation is important, y'all). The episodes offered real lessons to be learned and they were always funny.

And then they gave us this.

The same show that explained and confronted serious issues of discrimination and acceptance for the benefit of children (remember the one where their Muslim neighbors' house got vandalized?) made a movie about a mad scientist and his peanut-headed mutants.

That's like Lil' Kim singing at Carnegie Hall. That's like going to Mexico and getting Taco Bell. It's a complete let down and just ... wrong.

2. Going to the Mat


A blind student proves his abilities to the wrestling team at his new school. Yay, great message, roll credits, kids everywhere learn a valuable lesson from a good movie.

But they kept going.

The last scene is what really kills me. After winning the state championship, Jason's teammates, finally accepting him for who he his, deny his disability to reporters, asserting that he is a normal student just like everyone else.

That's the equivalent of saying "Oh, I don't see race. I'm colorblind." No, he is obviously blind. Just say he's blind. It's not offensive, it's a fact. He helped win a state championship, y'all better acknowledge the fact that he did it without being able to see the other guy.

Disney taught us that when it comes to others' differences, shhh.

1. Don't Look Under the Bed

WHO.

IS.

RESPONSIBLE.

FOR.

THIS.

MOVIE?

Whoever you are, you owe me money for night light lightbulbs, rosaries, and years of therapy.

This movie basically tried to teach us that if you mature and outgrow imaginary friends (you know, basic childhood development), demons will drag you off in the night. Disney, we get it, we'll stay young and keep buying your merchandise forever, just please, for the love of God, call off your horde of overacting monsters.


Lying on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watching movies like "Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off" and "Cadet Kelly" really prepared me for my future of lying in bed with a box of wine and Netflix, and for that I'm grateful. But while many Disney Channel Original Movies had real lessons to offer, some had messages that ranged from nonexistent to flat-out wrong. I haven't watched the Disney Channel since "That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana" (I let go of my childhood, now the monsters under my bed are going to get me) so I can only hope that the quality and morals of these movies have improved.

Never mind.

Cover Image Credit: http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QiElFdLgZIs/maxresdefault.jpg

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Why High School Musicals Should Be As Respected As Sports Programs Are

The arts are important, too.
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When I was in middle school and high school, I felt like I lived for the musicals that my school orchestrated.

For those of you who don't know, a musical is an onstage performance wherein actors take on roles that involve singing, and often dancing, to progress the plot of the story. While it may sound a little bit nerdy to get up in front of an audience to perform in this manner, this is something you cannot knock until you try it.

For some reason, though, many public schools have de-funded arts programs that would allow these musicals to occur, while increasing the funding for sports teams. There are a few things that are being forgotten when sports are valued more than musical programs in high schools.

Much like athletic hobbies, an actor must try-out, or audition, to participate in a musical. Those best suited for each role will be cast, and those who would not fit well are not given a part. While this may sound similar to trying out for say, basketball, it is an apples to oranges comparison.

At a basketball try-out, those who have the most experience doing a lay-up or shooting a foul shot will be more likely to succeed, no questions asked. However, for an audition, it is common to have to learn a piece of choreography upon walking in, and a potential cast member will be required to sing a selected piece with only a few days of preparation.

There are many more variables involved with an audition that makes it that much more nerve-racking.

The cast of a school musical will often rehearse for several months to perfect their roles, with only several nights of performance at the end. Many sports practice for three or four days between each of their respective competitions. While this may seem to make sports more grueling, this is not always the case.

Musicals have very little pay-off for a large amount of effort, while athletic activities have more frequent displays of their efforts.

Athletes are not encouraged to but are allowed to make mistakes. This is simply not allowed for someone in a musical, because certain lines or entrances may be integral to the plot.

Sometimes, because of all the quick changes and the sweat from big dance numbers, the stage makeup just starts to smear. Despite this, an actor must smile through it all. This is the part of musicals that no sport has: introspection.

An actor must think about how he or she would respond in a given situation, be it saddening, maddening, frightening, or delightful. There is no sport that requires the knowledge of human emotion, and there is especially no sport that requires an athlete to mimic such emotion. This type of emotional exercise helps with communications and relationships.

Sports are great, don't get me wrong. I loved playing volleyball, basketball, track, and swimming, but there were no experiences quite like those from a musical. Sports challenge the body with slight amounts of tactic, while musicals require much physical and mental endurance.

The next time you hear someone say that it's “just a musical," just remember that musicals deserve as much respect as sports, since they are just as, if not more demanding.

Cover Image Credit: Cincinnati Arts

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10 Shows To Watch If You're Sick Of 'The Office'

You can only watch it so many times...

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"The Office" is a great show, and is super easy to binge watch over and over again! But if you're like me and you're looking for something new to binge, why not give some of these a try? These comedies (or unintentional comedies) are a great way to branch out and watch something new.

1. "New Girl"

A show about a group of friends living in an apartment in a big city? Sound familiar? But seriously, this show is original and fresh, and Nick Miller is an icon.

2. "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"

Ya'll have been sleeping on this show. It's a musical comedy about a girl that follows her ex boyfriend across the country. I thought it sounded horrible so I put it off for WAY too long, but then I realized how incredible the cast, music, writing, and just EVERYTHING. It really brings important issues to light, and I can't say too much without spoiling it. Rachel Bloom (the creator of the show) is a woman ahead of her time.

3. "Jane the Virgin"

I know... another CW show. But both are so incredible! Jane The Virgin is a tongue-in-cheek comedy and parody of telenovelas. It has so many twists and turns, but somehow you find yourself laughing with the family.

4. "Brooklyn Nine-Nine"

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been in popular news lately since its cancellation by Fox and sequential pickup by NBC. It's an amazing show about cops in, you guessed it, Brooklyn. Created by the amazing Michael Schur, it's a safe bet that if you loved "The Office" you'll also love his series "Brooklyn Nine-Nine".

5. "The Good Place"

Another series created by the talented Micael Schur, it's safe to say you've probably already heard about this fantasy-comedy series. With a wonderful cast and writing that will keep you on your toes, the show is another safe bet.

6. "Fresh Off The Boat"

Seriously, I don't know why more people don't watch this show. "Fresh Off The Boat" focuses on an Asian family living in Orlando in the mid 90s. Randall Parks plays a character who is the polar opposite of his character in "The Interview" (Yeah, remember that horrifying movie?) and Constance Wu is wonderful as always.

7. "Full House"

Why not go back to the basics? If you're looking for a nostalgic comedy, go back all the way to the early days of Full House. If you're a '98-'00 baby like me, you probably grew up watching the Tanner family on Nick at Night. The entire series is available on Hulu, so if all else fails just watch Uncle Jesse and Rebecca fall in love again or Michelle fall off a horse and somehow lose her memory.

8. "Secret Life of the American Teenager"

Okay, this show is not a comedy, but I have never laughed so hard in my life. It's off Netflix but it's still on Hulu, so you can watch this masterpiece there. Watch the terrible acting and nonsense plot twists drive this show into the ground. Somehow everyone in this school dates each other? And also has a baby? You just have to watch. It might be my favorite show of all time.

9. "Scrubs"

Another old show that is worth watching. If you ignore the last season, Scrubs is a worthwhile medical comedy about doctors in both their personal and medical life. JD and Turk's relationship is one to be jealous of, and one hilarious to watch. Emotional at times, this medical drama is superior to any medical drama that's out now.

10. "Superstore"

I was resistant to watch this one at first, because it looked cheesy. But once I started watching I loved it! The show is a workplace comedy, one you're sure to love if you can relate to working in retail. If you liked the Office, you'll like Superstore!

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