The Worst Disney Channel Original Movies

The Worst Disney Channel Original Movies

Ruining your childhood one made-for-TV movie at a time
234
views

Disney Channel Original Movies were a staple of our childhood. Don't lie, whenever you saw that group of racially diverse kids doing jump splits over the giant reels of film you knew it was about to be a great hour and a half.

MOM IT'S STARTING GET THE POPCORN!

But for every "Halloweentown" or "Luck of the Irish," there were a few that were just cringe-worthy, and no amount of nostalgia can make these seem any more cute or any less weird (or awful).

5. Pixel Perfect

Ricky Ullman falls in love with a hologram.

A computerized blow-up doll.

Out of the tens of people it took to write/direct/produce/market/star in this movie, not one stopped and pointed out the fact that they were making a kids movie about a boy who falls in love with a computer?

Spike Jonze got unending praise for his incredible film "Her," but I'm still convinced it's just a ripoff of "Pixel Perfect."


4. Susie Q

This would be adorable if one of them weren't dead.


A beautiful quasi-love story about two teenagers.

One just happened to have drowned 40 years before the start of the movie.

Again, nobody involved stopped to question this plot?

But they don't end up together (thank God). In the end, another girl who looks just like the ghost girl falls in love with Zach.

So he finds love with a girl who reminds him of the girl who drowned half a century ago, because every successful romance starts off with the phrase "you remind me of someone who died in a tragic accident..."

Also, I don't want to sound like a prude, but is that how teenagers dressed in the 50s? That looks like Victoria's Secret's Barbie-themed collection.


3. The Proud Family Movie

From 2001 to 2005, "The Proud Family" did what virtually no other Disney Channel shows did: provide programming directly aimed at African-American youth (representation is important, y'all). The episodes offered real lessons to be learned and they were always funny.

And then they gave us this.

The same show that explained and confronted serious issues of discrimination and acceptance for the benefit of children (remember the one where their Muslim neighbors' house got vandalized?) made a movie about a mad scientist and his peanut-headed mutants.

That's like Lil' Kim singing at Carnegie Hall. That's like going to Mexico and getting Taco Bell. It's a complete let down and just ... wrong.

2. Going to the Mat


A blind student proves his abilities to the wrestling team at his new school. Yay, great message, roll credits, kids everywhere learn a valuable lesson from a good movie.

But they kept going.

The last scene is what really kills me. After winning the state championship, Jason's teammates, finally accepting him for who he his, deny his disability to reporters, asserting that he is a normal student just like everyone else.

That's the equivalent of saying "Oh, I don't see race. I'm colorblind." No, he is obviously blind. Just say he's blind. It's not offensive, it's a fact. He helped win a state championship, y'all better acknowledge the fact that he did it without being able to see the other guy.

Disney taught us that when it comes to others' differences, shhh.

1. Don't Look Under the Bed

WHO.

IS.

RESPONSIBLE.

FOR.

THIS.

MOVIE?

Whoever you are, you owe me money for night light lightbulbs, rosaries, and years of therapy.

This movie basically tried to teach us that if you mature and outgrow imaginary friends (you know, basic childhood development), demons will drag you off in the night. Disney, we get it, we'll stay young and keep buying your merchandise forever, just please, for the love of God, call off your horde of overacting monsters.


Lying on the couch with a bowl of popcorn and watching movies like "Eddie's Million Dollar Cook-Off" and "Cadet Kelly" really prepared me for my future of lying in bed with a box of wine and Netflix, and for that I'm grateful. But while many Disney Channel Original Movies had real lessons to offer, some had messages that ranged from nonexistent to flat-out wrong. I haven't watched the Disney Channel since "That's So Suite Life of Hannah Montana" (I let go of my childhood, now the monsters under my bed are going to get me) so I can only hope that the quality and morals of these movies have improved.

Never mind.

Cover Image Credit: http://i.ytimg.com/vi/QiElFdLgZIs/maxresdefault.jpg

Popular Right Now

8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
25906
views

Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

5 Things To Think About During Trans Week Of Visibility

You should always think of your trans friends, but especially during this week.

88
views

Trans week of visibility is March 25 through March 31, these are the five things you should keep in mind during those days (and at all times).

1. Using The Correct Pronouns Are Extremely Important

i.etsystatic.com

If you do not know which pronouns to use, just ask. When talking to a trans person do not assume their pronouns, hell- don't assume a cisgender persons pronouns it is always better to ask someones pronouns when you first start talking to them. Using the correct pronouns is a major step in accepting trans people and it makes us feel so much more accepted, loved, and respected. It isn't that hard to do, so just ask.

2. Dead Names Are Dead For A Reason

xymoprint.com

If you know a trans persons dead name, DO NOT SHARE IT WITH OTHERS. It is dead for a reason. When trans people change their name (or pronouns) it is to reflect how they truly feel on the inside and show it to the outside world. This is something that is personal and should not be shared with anyone. Deadnaming a trans person is violent. Once a trans person has told you "Hey, I go by this name now", use that new name. Embrace it, love it, accept it, move on.

3. Never Ask What Genitals Trans People Have Or Which Bathroom They Use

static.boredpanda.com

First off, this is none of your business and why do you want to know? This is very private information and unless you're a doctor performing surgery or a doctor treating a patient you do not need to know what genitals a person has. Nobody needs to know which bathroom a person uses. That's all I have to say about this. Just don't do either of these things.

4. The World Isn't That Safe For Us, So Please Try To Make It Safer

www.hrw.org

Most of us are afraid to come out, even if you have been by our side no matter what or you have made comments that you would support us if we were trans. We are terrified because we know what the world is like for trans people. We see that the world we live in is a scary place for minorities and we are one of them. Being trans isn't easy, but coming out is one of the most freeing feelings in the world because you finally get to let the world in on who you truly are. It's all a scary process. If we come out to you, or even if we don't- just try to make the world safer for trans people. It's our cisgender allies that make the world safer for us. Without you all there is no change.

5. Love Us, Respect Us, Support Us

farm1.staticflickr.com

That's all we ask.

Related Content

Facebook Comments