Strive to be someone the Dos Equis man would like to have a beer with.
Think about the last conversation you had with another person. Think about the one before that, and before that. Do you remember what any of them were about? How many conversations from the last week do you actually remember or meant something to you? Now think about the last good conversation you had. What made it special, why do you remember it? My last good conversation happened last May. Four of my friends and I got together around ten at night in a third floor ERC dorm common room and began gossiping and telling old drinking stories like we usually do. But as the night progressed the conversation evolved. We began speaking of dreams that haunt us, and political movements that we don't understand, and poems that moved us, and discoveries that sparked in us a sense of wonder. At the end of our conversation we all stood outside on the balcony and through bloodshot eyes observed how the blue smoke of our Turkish Royals matched the bluish tint of the horizon as the sun rose behind us.
Nights such and the one I am recalling are far too rare. Most of our conversations are boring and not remotely unique.
Too often what we speak about is monotonous, and beige, and with pure simplicity. I see this fault in my own life. I talk repeatedly of my resume: what classes I take and stuff I do with my frat bros and what internships I am pursuing. It gets old. I hope T. S. Elliot would agree with me when I say that we too frequently come and go speaking of Michelangelo . . . and fill our heads with superficial Buzzfeed articles and viral cat videos. This is why it is so important to develop the art of conversation.
To develop the art of conversation we must absorb information that sharpens our minds. We live in the golden age of the internet, in which all of the mysteries and stories of the world exist at our finger tips. Don't waste this technology binge watching things that soften your intellect like How I Met Your Mother or reading horoscopes. Instead, binge watch videos from Crash Course on Youtube. Fill your head up with quirky world history, and bizarre psychological conditions, and obscure quotes from classical literature. Take on books like Blink! that explore the way we think and reason so you might challenge and reconsider how you view our society. Spend a day exploring the scientific mysteries of the universe through Ted talks or NOVA specials that are hosted by Neil Degresse Tyson. Buff up on political satire and sophisticate your sense of humor by reading The Onion or watching the HBO talk shows. Watch the documentaries depicting both sides of the Palestine versus Israel conflict so you are not biased or ignorant on this controversial issue.
With interesting and exotic information in your head, practice inserting it into conversation. Begin with your friends; practice asking questions and initiating topics that are deeper than gossip. Become intellectually well rounded. Be able to walk into any room whether it be a biology lecture hall, a political debate stage, a corporate boardroom, or the living room of the frat castle and strike up a conversation that proves you are not a flat resume but an acute individual with an identity. This skill becomes practical when you are speaking with professors and prospective employers. One appears to deserve a better grade or a job if they prove that they are insightful and intellectually active.
Be smart, bold and funny. Use your newfound information to spur better conversations with your friends and network more effectively with professionals. But also realize by becoming more informed and aware, you are building an identity. So collect information and wisdom and decide what you truk believe in. Build your philosophy and back it up with complex ideas and explanations that are more profound than an inspirational tweet or a fortune cookie saying. Yearn for self-actualization and want to understand as much of the human condition as possible. Boring people do not bother with concepts such as these and are content with How I Met Your Mother and repetitive talk of their resume bullet points.
The world is full of boring people, don't be one. Many people and conversations that deserve to be remembered have provoked scientific discoveries, Declarations of Independence, and the formation of the Greek secret societies that we are a part of today. Human history is driven by memorable conversations and forgets things that are boring. Make it a goal to initiate a conversation that you remember, it might be one of the greatest things you ever do.
Here are some videos and writings from the internet that inspired the conversation that night last May. I hope you take as much from them as I have.
