Parents. Parents. Parents. The two things that should be a given in your life.

“She’s my aunt, not my mom. But, at the same time she kinda is.” This is a sentence that I became so used to saying over the years. An explanation to my untraditional family situation. Life had left me without a mother and a father. Not only me, but my three younger sisters. Parents are supposed to motivate their children, listen when you have problems, and be a comforting presence when it feels like it’s you against the world. My sisters and I didn’t have that. As I look at all of our lives, we’ve all handled our situation differently.

We’ve had to deal with a cruel fate in this world, or so it may seem. I was never one to reflect on my unconventional lifestyle, I barely paid attention to it. However, when I did, I must admit it was a heartbreaking moment. No one wants to realize that those who were supposed to love you most in this world, apparently didn’t. I watched movies and TV shows, I read books, and they further broke my heart. Everyone seemed to have one parent, who loved them unconditionally without reserve. I didn’t though. It is something that can be almost embarrassing. Something that you want to keep secret. Never taking the time to explain your lifestyle to anyone. That’s how I was. No one needed to know. Because, if they did, I was always afraid of pity or labeling.

And I’ve never been a fan of people telling me what I should do or how I should act. So, during this eye-opening time of mine I made a promise to myself. I was going to do everything I possibly could to have my own family one day, to prove to myself that a family was something that I could have.

This promise has been my constant motto when life seemed to suck or when things didn’t seem like they would work out. I would simply say, “All of this is for you to finally have your family.” Now, from one parentless child to another, your salvation in life doesn’t have to be the same as mine, but the point is I want you to realize that your situation does not define you. We may be inconvenient, but that does not have to stop us. Find your motto. Find what you need to live for.

No matter what, those typical forces may not have been in your life, but there are other people. Friends who become family. Family members who take on different roles to make you feel as if you hadn’t lost something important. But, we both know, no one can take the place of your parents. But... Everything happens for a reason. You’ll be fine. I know it hurts, but some of the best superheroes of our times had to live the fate of being parentless. And you know what? They conquer everything that’s sent their way. And we can too.