To everyone listening,
I am a grieving mother.
I am a mother who had to bury their child.
I am a mother who had to say goodbye.
Before I was ready for goodbye.
I am a grieving mother because my son went to Heaven.
On April 26, 2022 I gave birth to one of the most beautiful little boys I've ever set my eyes on, next to his brothers, of course.
Liam was a fighter from the very beginning.
At 3 weeks and two days old, Liam went to Heaven to be with my father and my fiancé's grandmother.
I am a grieving mother.
I am a grieving mother who doesn't know how to get out of bed sometimes. I am a grieving mother who feeds her living children chips for breakfast because I can't possibly gather the strength most days to make them breakfast. I am a grieving mother whose grief is so big and so heavy, I simply have no where to shout it too so I hold it all in until I can't take it anymore. I am a grieving mother because my little warrior did not see the outside world and spent his whole life on machines that kept him alive for me. They kept him alive so we could have three beautiful weeks with him. I am a grieving mother because the world keeps on going and my world stopped turning almost two months ago. I am a grieving mother because no amount of words or time or anything will surpress what I am feeling. I am a grieving mother because every little thing that reminds me of the baby I don't have makes me want to cry, scream, and curse. I am a grieving mother because there is no pain, no ounce of pain in this world like what I am feeling. I am a grieving mother because to burry your child is an unnatural thing for this world. I am a grieving mother because my heart is heavy and my soul is broken.
But I am surviving mother.
I am a surviving mother because I've survived what some say would be impossible. I am a surviving mother because I am strong and I am relentless. I am a surviving mother because of my other child and the life they need to have. I am a surviving mother because nothing will break me but only make me stronger. I am a surviving mother because I was able to have three weeks with my son and some people do not even get that, I am a grateful mother. I am a surviving mother because everything I've been through in my life has made me the person I am today. I am a surviving mother because even when I feel like I can't go on, I make myself go on. I am a surviving mother because I have a story to be told.
I am a surviving mother and a warrior because I've been through the unimaginable.
I am a grieving mother because grief hits at all different points in your life and it's okay to not be okay.
So from one grieving mother to another.
It's okay to cry all the time.
You might not feel like you can't make it today but I promise you, you'll make it today and everyday because a world without you just simply isn't meant to be.
You'll be okay.
