It’s that time again: the New Year. With the new year comes new resolutions. Are you going to promise yourself to lose ten pounds for the tenth year in a row? Exercise 4 days a week? Quit smoking? Eat healthier? Get a new job? What’s it going to be?

For me, the answer is none of the above. I refuse to set any New Year’s resolutions this year.

At the beginning of every year, people seem to get this glimmer of hope and motivation to set these resolutions that they likely won’t commit to for more than a month... if that. It’s pointless to decide on a few things that you want to stop doing but won’t fully devote yourself to anyways. I’ve never been a huge fan of setting goals in the first place, so maybe that makes me a little biased. As soon as you set a goal or a resolution, you’re telling yourself that your life right now isn’t what you want it to be. That it needs to change. That it needs to improve. That it needs to be different.

Not to say that everyone’s lives couldn’t use a few improvements, and maybe it works for some people, but setting goals has always made me feel like I’m not good enough. It creates an empty space between where you are and what you have with what you aspire to have and where you feel like you need to be in the future. Sometimes that causes you to get caught in the middle, not wanting to feel lesser of yourself by staying where you are, but also not being motivated enough to reach your goal. It could also be that the goal itself is untimely, unrealistic, or just not right for you. Often times, that’s the case.

Even if I were to make a resolution or set a goal for the year, what happens when I reach it? Do I just make another one? And then it keeps going and going?

Personally, I can’t spend my life feeling like there’s always something that is keeping me from being good enough. From hitting my “full potential.” From becoming who I’m supposed to be. I could set goal after goal, and sure it would feel good to achieve them, but not nearly as good a just relaxing, being content with who I am and what my life consists of, and letting things that are meant to happen, happen. These resolutions always perpetuate such negative feelings when people don’t achieve them. Instead of focusing on the fact that you didn’t get to the gym as often as you’d liked to, didn’t eat healthier, or couldn’t quit smoking cold turkey, maybe people should consider why they didn’t do those things. Maybe they had bigger priorities. Maybe they didn’t really want to. Maybe it was the pressure of societal norms that made them make those resolutions in the first place.

I think a lot of people set New Year’s resolutions each year without really knowing what they genuinely want out of their lives. The moment you take a step back and stop piling pressure on yourself to take on resolutions that you aren’t really committed to is the moment you give yourself a chance to breathe. That moment allows you to see who has been trying so hard, and who has been trying to reach all these goals. Get to those moments of realization that all that really matters is you, your life, and whether or not you’re happy at the end of the day. That person is yourself.

I’m not saying I don’t want my life to get better, or that I don’t want to become the best version of myself. Of course I do. I think everyone does. I just don’t think I can achieve it by making half hearted decisions that don’t really mean anything to me.

Instead of rushing to come up with a list of things that I need to do better, want to start, or want to quit, I’m going to be entering the New Year with a positive, hopeful, and confident mindset. I’m going to make all of my decisions wholeheartedly. I’m going to live like I’m going to die tomorrow. I’m going to trust the process, and choose to believe that everything happens when, how, and why it should. Maybe I’ll hit the gym more often. Maybe I won’t. Whatever I do, though, I’m going to do it with the confidence and knowledge that I don’t need a silly little list of resolutions to dictate my entire year.

You should too.