Women Finally Admit It: The Real Reason We Run In Sports Bras

You’ve probably seen us at some point during the heat of the day, sweat glistening off our shoulders in the summer sun, one foot in front of the other, panting for air, pounding pavement as we round the corner. You were most likely sitting in your air-conditioned car at the red light before you rolled your window down to call out to us, or maybe walking on the other side of the street when you saw us *gasp* decked out in just a sports bra. Okay, okay. You caught us. Guilty as charged. At last, I’ll admit- that it really is all for you, baby.

Finally, here are women’s confessions as to why we really choose to wear only a sports bra for our workouts:

1. We were hoping that we would see you.
2. Just really wishing that we could get honked at. That’s our favorite.
3. We want to see how many stares and whistles we can get, because we truly enjoy feeling like an object for only your viewing pleasure.
4. To show off these rock hard abs. (Because I don’t eat pizza every day.)
5. It’s way more comfortable than wearing a t-shirt or tank top.
6. Because we squealed, "This super sexy undergarment will make him weak in the knees!" as we pulled out our full coverage, maximum support sports bra.
7. We don’t feel validated, appreciated, or complete unless you catcall us. If you don’t, the run wasn’t even worth it.
8. We were secretly hoping you’d gawk at our breasts.
9. Because we’re not worried about how many miles we get in, just as long as we can make your day.
10. Alright, honestly we were just pretending to exercise- we are really only out here trying to attract our future husbands.

Raise your hand if you got any of them right. Then use it to slap yourself, because…

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Reasons women truly, really, actuallyrun in a sports bra:

1. Because it’s hotter than (insert explicit language here) outside. (And maybe also because we don’t want to do even more laundry.)

So please forgive us, from the bottom of our bosoms, that we ever tried to exercise just for our physical health and well being. We realize this was stupid and selfish. Please also excuse us for giving you the finger next time you harass us on the street. You don’t have to do a double take- we promise it was all for you.