Disclaimer: This is not an article about whether or not the people accused of harassment and rape are guilty of such crimes. I am not saying that these people did or did not commit the horrific crimes. I am simply bringing to light another argument that is being misrepresented.
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2017 has been the year of #MeToo.
Twitter has exploded with the cries from victims, echoing further than our iPhone screens can reach. Their shouts have now been forever imprinted on the cover of every magazine, every headline, and every Instagram hashtag. Hollywood has forever been changed. The celebrities that changed our childhood, our lives, their names are blacklisted and forever tarnished by the accusations developing. 2017 has brought women of all different ethnicities, religions, educations, and orientations together to raise their voices against the men that silenced their own.
Scattered about every headline plastered on my news feed, the one that made me stop and click didn't revolve around a news icon, a childhood actor, or a poetic genius: "The Voice" contestant Melanie Martinez being accused of raping her best friend had me speechless.
Now, I have never seen "The Voice," nor do I care to watch a bunch of over-rated pop stars attempt to achieve their 30 minutes of fame. However, the fact that it was a woman being accused of rape that left me fact-checking and pondering. Out of every rape accusation that has come out this record-breaking year, how is this the first woman rapist named?
We are so shocked to hear the up cry of voices that we forget that the voice oppressing the victims may not be a man’s. I have had more guy friends call me, with tears in their eyes and cracks in their voice, saying that a girl took advantage of them, saying that they were threatened with false rape accusation unless they performed sexual acts, saying that a woman inserted herself without their permission, saying that she performed sexual acts when he was too paralyzed to say no. Things like, “why would he say no to pussy” and “it’s not rape if it gets your hard ” truly silence the male rape survivors for fear of emasculating and, like all rape survivors, shame.
I have known more men who have been raped than women... by women.
They refuse to acknowledge the trauma and incident because their perception is that rape can only happen with a man; a domineering force holding your head down in a bathroom while your struggle to get away. They don’t realize that guilt, blackmail, coercion, forced penetration, oral sex are events of rape experienced by men. I have heard women say in the coldest of manners that women cannot be rapist, just like minorities cannot be racist.
How could someone deter the trauma that affects ones everyday function, because it doesn’t fit into their patriarchy stereotype?
Fuck you. Women play the damsel card, the inferior one, in order to achieve a level of superiority over people who are too afraid, who have too much to lose, to say no. I call bullshit.
I stand with every man and woman who has ever felt the pain and damages of rape at the hand of a woman, and had their experience dismissed because of it. Speak your voice, if you are reading this, tell us why you too.