When you left for college, did your parents make sure that you had pepper spray? Did your mom give you some “pointers” on what you should do when you feel threatened? Mine did, but I don’t remember them doing this for my three older brothers when they went off to the same college I attend. This honestly has nothing to do with my parents, but more to do with the fact that I am a woman living in this American society. I am confident in myself, strong in my convictions and I have no problem telling you where to stick it, but I am a young woman living in a society that doesn't always treat women the way they should be treated.
When I started dating, I worried about protecting myself. Not because I had been in horrible and abusive relationships, but because I have seen them. I have read the stories about rape victims who either didn’t speak up and suffered alone or who did speak up and were ostracized for it.
When my friend group goes out for a night, we always choose buddies that we stick with to make sure that our drinks have extra eyes, that we don’t get followed into a bathroom and so that we don’t go home with a stranger when we cannot coherently say “yes." Men, because I did not cater to what they wanted, have called me incredibly inappropriate names. I have been honked at, cat called and followed. I have been sexually harassed and inappropriately groped in public places that I thought I was safe.
I am one of the "lucky" ones who thought about my weight later in life. I have been called anorexic and fat. My friends and I used to talk about what diets worked the best and how we shouldn’t eat certain foods because we would never get rid of the fat. "But you're skinny enough, so you can eat that." I have lived through multiple "body peace" movements for women but have yet to see one for men. I have been told that men like bigger boobs, so I guess I'm out of luck. I have been told my curly hair is unprofessional, so I should straighten it. “No one can tell you are wearing makeup” has become a compliment.
I am not sad or mad about this, but it is the reality of this world. These are all things that happen to women in today’s society, in addition to so much more, but we have adjusted. We have grown to ignore the catcalls, started movements to stop rape culture and joined support groups. I don’t hate men and I trust most men, but it would be a lie to say that the thought of how to defend myself against them isn’t in the back of my head quite often. At times, I have the same thoughts about women surrounding me. This is what it is like to live as a woman in today’s society, but it is not the society I want my children to live in. Is this a society we can be proud of?
