This article comes in the wake of someone passing. Someone who I cared about. Someone who used to be my best friend. Saying goodbye to her was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. It’s not something I should have had to do. Not at twenty-one. Our lives are just beginning at this age.
She was an amazing person. Her smile could brighten up an entire room. She was such a caring, outgoing person. She made everyone feel welcome and wanted. She had a laugh that was so outrageous that it made you want to laugh as well.
I remember us becoming friends. I was shy and awkward. She was bubbly and outgoing. We were eleven and in band together. She played the saxophone, and I played the flute. There was an instant connection. We became friends almost instantly. She dragged me out of my shell, while I helped to ground her.
I once heard that girl friends are our true soulmates and guys are just here for us to have fun with. Since she passed, I find this to be so true. She understood me in a way that no guy ever could. She loved me in a manner that was selfless. She was a true friend. Someone who really cared about me.
Even after we had drifted apart, she would still reach out to me - ask how I was doing. She really wanted to know. She really did care. I wish I had told her how much I appreciated that. I wish that I had told her a lot of things.
I wish I could have told you what an amazing person you are. You had such a beautiful soul. A light shone from you that warmed everyone who came near you. I wish I could have told you how much you meant to me. How much our friendship meant to me. You were always so good at just listening when I would bitch and complain. You'd snap me out of my bad mood and make me laugh and smile.
I wish I hadn't let us drift apart. I should have fought harder to keep what we had. I know that people say that friendships evolve over time, that people change and grow apart. But I feel like that's just an excuse. I made decisions you didn't agree with and vice versa. I wish we had talked out our issues. Because now that you're gone, our disagreements seem so petty and pointless.
Above everything though, I wish that I could have said goodbye. I wish I could have heard that laugh one last time. I wish I could have seen that beautiful smile. I wish I could have hugged you, because I would have never let go. My heart aches every day knowing I won't see you here on earth again. I find comfort knowing that you are no longer in pain. I love you and miss you more than words can describe. I love you blondie, always and forever.
