Hello,
My name is Anxiety. Depending on who you are, I will have different effects on you. But the bottom line is all the same. I am the evil cousin that you don't see coming and you never asked for.
Remember that text that you sent that you thought was funny but no one responded... of course you do, because you are still stressing about it. Asking yourself why did you send it at all? What if it made them mad instead of laugh? What if they think you’re weird and don't want to talk to you anymore?
What about when you walked into the room and the two girls in the back stared at you for just a second too long. Did you offend them? Are they talking about you? Maybe you should talk to them? No, wait! What would you even say?
What would you say? Hi? What if they don't want to talk to you? What do you do after that, say what's up? No that's too generic. What if you say something stupid? Too late you already look stupid because now you've walked into a room sat down in a hurry so people will stop staring. And now you are fixated on the idea that everyone is staring at you. You can't sit still.
You question what to do. Do you stay? Do you leave?
Your chest is getting heavy like a pile of bricks are resting on top of your rib cage, and you can't breathe. You wonder if all of a sudden you have asthma. Nope.
That's me.
Anxiety.
Your chest begins to weigh on you.
Your mind is racing, it's like 99 radios are all playing at the same time and you can’t seem to focus on just one. The volume is getting louder and louder. You can’t tell which thoughts are you or which thoughts are me... anxiety.
You try to tell yourself to stop stressing. But then you are stressing about not stressing.
Your panic is getting worse.
You being to shed a tear. Praying that no one sees. You feel like you want to run.
Then you realize you do. You get up and leave. As if that would be a simple solution. But no.
I've already taken flight. I have you now.
Thoughts racing.
Calm down...
Heart is pounding so hard it hurts.
Just breathe...
Trying to gasp for air as if you are drowning in the water. You are drowning. You’re drowning in your thoughts. Those thoughts that you aren’t good enough. That you’re crazy. Why can’t you be normal? Why do I worry so much? I worry about worrying. No one gets it…
Don’t worry about it…
As your hands are shaking uncontrollably as if you were standing outside in a winter's snow.
Calm down…
Calm down?
It’s okay…
Is it really okay? Your mind has completely abandoned you. The thing you thought was yours has now turned on you and you feel like a stranger in your own body.
I am Anxiety.
