I am lucky enough to find myself in a loving, long-term relationship. After many years of being together and cohabitation, I understand that people would naturally anticipate us to "take the next steps" in our relationship. If I had a penny for every time someone asked: "So, when are you getting married?" then I'd probably be able to pay for the rest of my undergrad education. Truth be told though, I wish people would stop pressuring me to settle down. I know these questions come from a good place of well-intended curiosity, but quite frankly I'm a little tired of it. I'm not saying that I don't ever want to settle down, what I'm saying is I'm not ready to make those decisions yet. I'm twenty-one years old. I hardly consider myself an adult, let alone worry about more adult things than my next shift at work or my upcoming exams.
I love my boyfriend dearly and yes, I would love to spend the rest of my life with him, but why does it have to be such a rush? I would like to get married someday, but that day is not anytime soon. I'm in my third year of undergrad and I have aspirations of pursuing professional school, it just makes more sense to wait when you consider the financial aspect of it.
I also wish people would consider that I have more aspirations than starting a family. After devoting so much time to my education, I want to be able to enjoy my freedom. I want to be able to travel the world and enjoy my successes at least for a little while. Also, raising children is so expensive and with an ever overpopulated world, I find it hard to justify the brood of children I once imagined myself having. Especially where I'm at now, a child is the last thing I want. Some days I feel like I can barely take care of myself, let alone a child. Age doesn't necessarily dictate how well a person can take care of a child, and if your main goals in life include building a family, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just not what I want right now.
So to the people trying to rush me into settling down, consider this: I'll settle down when I'm ready, so until then you should try waiting patiently. I'm 21 and I'm at the stage where I just want to live my life selfishly and there's nothing wrong with that.
