You never know how it will feel to lose your Dad until you actually go through losing him. Like most girls, my sister's and I were Daddy's girls and had him wrapped around our fingers since the day we were born. With that being said, in my Dad's eyes my sister's and I could do no wrong. Dad always made sure we got what we wanted even if we really didn't need it. To us our dad was like Superman, he was stronger than anyone we knew. Our dad was and always will be our first love, and our example of what a man is and what a man should be. Losing our dad when when we were just 19 and 15, took a toll on us. You never expect to lose your dad when your that young. Our dad still had important things to do with us girls, like, see us all graduate, threaten the boys we want to date, walk us down the aisle, be there when we have our first child, and possibly more things, that now we don't have because Cancer took our dad from us.
People say death is a part of life, but it seems that it is the worst part of life anyone will have to go through. Knowing that there is a disease that takes control of your loved one's body and ravages it making that person identifiable as being 'sick" and knowing that either that person has the chance to go through chemo or just slowly die is heartbreaking. With my dad, he was going to do chemo for my mom and us girls. but they put his port in and for some reason when they did it put him in mental confusion/brought on dementia symptoms. So because of that my dad could not do chemo because the doctors said they couldn't have him sick and confused. So we dealt with it the best we could, because that obviously meant our dad was going to die. We got to spend a lot of extra time with our dad, sure that was fun, but it was torment when he had to go back to the hospital for weeks at a time because of how bad his mental state was. He actually started to fight us to do normal things like putting his t shirt on.
My dad later passed away on July 8th, 2015 from Liver Cancer. The day my dad died will always be stuck in my mind. It's a day I will never forget. The pain of losing my dad feels horrible. My dad is my guardian angel. It's so hard to explain how i feel about my dad's death, even almost a year later. But i have to just keep moving on because that's what dad would want me to do. I just hope he is proud of us all.
