“I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone.”
-J. R. R. Tolkien
Dear Readers,
It’s March 15, 1985 in New York City at the bustling headquarters of AAA where a young 24-year-old full time employee has just worked up the courage to ask a naïve young 19-year-old female college intern on a date. What was supposed to be a 45-minute lunch break has suddenly turned into three hours of talking, laughing, and experiencing that rare quality of “love at first sight.” The average steakhouse that houses this first lunch date would ultimately become the starting line for 31 years of a love that is anything but average. This young man and young woman aren’t just apart of a fictional anecdote to introduce this piece—the young man and young woman are my parents and the testament to a true story of love.
As children its easy to idolize our parents for the colossal giants we envision them to be — everything they do and everything they say become unwritten laws of a Bible so big that not even the world’s greatest scholar could read, interpret, or analyze it. But as we grow older we start to see our parents in a new light that parallels the same triumphs and tragedies we face. In the wake of our teenage years we begin to trace our parents’ stories with our own, learning that though generations of time separate us, there are enduring themes that follow all men and women, no matter how old they are.
I’m not going to preach about marital love because I am far from an expert on the topic, I am too young and too naïve to even explore it. However, I can tell you how my parent’s undying love for each other manifested them into the most loving and caring mother and father I could ever ask for. The selfless love they show each other day in and day out in their marriage carries over into the love they have for both my sister and I — proving to us that perhaps in order to find happiness we must be willing to put others before ourselves.
What began 31 years ago, as adoration for each other, has now become enormous adoration for an entire family, even transpiring down to the family dog. My parent’s love shows no bounds each day — the simple gestures of flowers from my father when my mother is having a bad day has shown me that when someone you love is hurting even the smallest acts of kindness count. The laughter and friendship that they share through jokes and stories of intertwined pasts reflects this idea that sometimes the greatest foundation for any relationship is an enduring and everlasting friendship. The schoolgirl smile and timid teenage boy looks of mischief even in their 50’s (sorry about the age reveal) is living proof that life is too short and fragile to not measure it in moments of happiness instead of age and years.
My parent’s aren’t the best parents because they’ve stayed together all these years — there are parents who are no longer married or living that still shine as the true testament to great parents, lovers, and humans. The greatest of parents are the ones that subtly reveal to us the hidden secrets of life that no textbook or teacher could ever show us. They teach us to always smile, even in the wake of sorrow or sadness. They remind us to always say “I love you” despite the current status of your anger, for life is too precious to not remind someone how special they are to you. Ultimately, they show us that to love someone — whether it’s a spouse, a child, or a friend — is the greatest power we wield in this world.
Before his death, Professor Randy Pausch wrote in his book, The Last Lecture about having the world’s greatest parents in a concept he called “Winning the Parent Lottery.” I may never be the richest man — nor own beach front houses or luxurious cars, but I can say one thing for sure: I hit the parent lottery and I couldn’t be more thankful for the two people that raised me into the man I am today.
