I cried today. No, not “cried.” Wept. I wept today.

I was reading Winnie-the-Pooh.

The first couple of chapters had passed, by which time Pooh’s balloon had been popped and, after eating too much of Rabbit’s honey, Pooh had wedged himself into Rabbit’s doorway (sorry for the spoilers, but you have had nearly a century to catch up on this one). Neither of these events particularly upset me, though. What overwhelmed me was the gentleness with which the characters regarded one another.

They are not ignorant of each other’s flaws, but they are also not out to govern each other. Shortly after Rabbit discovers the before-mentioned obstruction in his entryway and admonishes Pooh for eating too much honey, he then takes a step back. He offers to read to the bear while they are waiting for Pooh to thin out a bit.

Pooh goes on multiple adventures, too, that do not pan out. Along the way, his best friend, Christopher Robin, never yells at him or calls him an idiot. He just giggles and utters his ever-famous line: “Silly old bear.” Friendship comes first, and personal ego is continuously put on hold.

I am not the first to recognize the hidden wisdom in A.A. Milne’s beloved stories. In The Tao of Pooh, author Benjamin Hoff explores Winnie-the-Pooh’s undeterred ability to be at peace with who he is at all times. Nothing shakes the bear because he seems to accept that he is always right where he needs to be.

This remains true while the character continues to go on adventures that the audience sees clearly will not work. Even Christopher Robin possesses the foresight to offer the occasional push-back. Nonetheless, Pooh Bear presses on, goes on his new adventure and may well stumble, but then learns a lesson and is never seen to go on the same adventure twice (which also makes for a less redundant sort of story). Not once do we hear Christopher Robin say, “Stupid old bear.” Nor do we, the audience, ever feel the inclination to berate Pooh.

These stories have been understood by children for 92 years. As adults, though, we set such tales of kindness aside. We get wrapped up in work or in imposing ourselves on the world.

In the interest of being good friends (or good people, for that matter), perhaps it is high time to start showing a bit more faith in each other and respect for one another’s autonomy. While parents and police have important vocations, these vocations belong specifically to parents and police. As friends, we may offer some perspective to each other, but it is not our duty to decide others’ choices.

This applies even if we are certain the other person is making the wrong choice. We have only, at the moment of decision, to cut through our cynicism and say, “I wish you well.” If there is a lesson to be learned afterwards, it will be learned. Furthermore, if we hold our tongues, how much sweeter, too, will be the honey of celebration when, against conventional knowledge, our friends succeed!

It is not so hard to understand if we do not overcomplicate the issue. After all, none of us placed in Pooh’s shoes (metaphorical shoes, as he does not actually wear any) would wish to be criticized in any terms harsher than that slight chuckle and innocent observation: “Silly old bear.”